In order for�UNIX(tm)�to�survive�into�the�nineties,�it�must�get�rid�of its�intimidating�commands�and�outmoded�jargon,�and�become�compatible with�the�existing�standards�of�our�day.��To�this�end,�our�technicians have�come�up�with�a�new�version�of�UNIX,�System�VI,�for�use�by�the�PC�- that�is,�the�"Politically�Correct."
���Politically�Correct�UNIX ���System�VI�Release�notes UTILITIES: "man"�pages�are�now�called�"person"�pages. Similarly,�"hangman"�is�now�the "person_executed_by_an_oppressive_regime." To�avoid�casting�aspersions�on�our�feline�friends,�the�"cat"�command�is now�merely�"domestic_quadruped." To�date,�there�has�only�been�a�UNIX�command�for�"yes"�-�reflecting�the male�belief�that�women�always�mean�yes,�even�when�they�say�no.��To address�this�imbalance,�System�VI�adds�a�"no"�command,�along�with�a "-f[orce]"�option�which�will�crash�the�entire�system�if�the�"no"�is ignored. The�bias�of�the�"mail"�command�is�obvious,�and�it�has�been�replaced�by the�more�neutral�"gendre"�command. The�"touch"�command�has�been�removed�from�the�standard�distribution�due to�its�inappropriate�use�by�high-level�managers. "compress"�has�been�replaced�by�the�lightweight�"feather"�command. Thus,�old�information�(such�as�that�from�Dead�White�European�Males) should�be�archived�via�"tar"�and�"feather". The�"more"�command�reflects�the�materialistic�philosophy�of�the�Reagan era.��System�VI�uses�the�environmentally�preferable�"less"�command. The�biodegradable�"KleeNeX"�displaces�the�environmentally�unfriendly "LaTeX". SHELL�COMMANDS: To�avoid�unpleasant,�medieval�connotations,�the�"kill"�command�has�been renamed�"euthanise." The�"nice"�command�was�historically�used�by�privileged�users�to�give themselves�priority�over�unprivileged�ones,�by�telling�them�to�be "nice".�In�System�VI,�the�"sue"�command�is�used�by�unprivileged�users to�get�for�themselves�the�rights�enjoyed�by�privileged�ones. "history"�has�been�completely�rewritten,�and�is�now�called�"herstory." "quota"�can�now�specify�minimum�as�well�as�maximum�usage,�and�will�be strictly�enforced. The�"abort()"�function�is�now�called�"choice()." TERMINOLOGY: From�now�on,�"rich�text"�will�be�more�accurately�referred�to�as "exploitive�capitalist�text". The�term�"daemons"�is�a�Judeo-Christian�pejorative.��Such�processes will�now�be�known�as�"spiritual�guides." There�will�no�longer�be�a�invidious�distinction�between�"dumb"�and "smart"�terminals.��All�terminals�are�equally�valuable. Traditionally,�"normal�video"�(as�opposed�to�"reverse�video")�was�white on�black.��This�implicitly�condoned�European�colonialism,�particularly with�respect�to��people�of�African�descent.��UNIX�System�VI�now�uses "regressive�video"�to�refer�to�white�on�black,�while�"progressive video"�can�be�any�color�at�all�over�a�white�background. For�far�too�long,�power�has�been�concentrated�in�the�hands�of�"root" and�his�"wheel"�oligarchy.��We�have�instituted�a�dictatorship�of�the users.��All�system�administration�functions�will�be�handled�by�the People's�Committee�for�Democratically�Organizing�the�System�(PC-DOS). No�longer�will�it�be�permissible�for�files�and�processes�to�be�"owned" by�users.��All�files�and�processes�will�own�themselves,�and�decided�how (or�whether)�to�respond�to�requests�from�users. The�X�Window�System�will�henceforth�be�known�as�the�NC-17�Window System. And�finally,�UNIX�itself�will�be�renamed�"PC"�-�for�Procreatively Challenged. -�---- UNIX(tm)�is�a�trademark�of�UNIX�System�Laboratories.��Any�similarty�of names�or�attitudes�to�that�of�any�person,�living�or�dead,�is�purely Coincidental -- Unsupported OS X is sponsored by <http://lowendmac.com/> Support Low End Mac <http://lowendmac.com/lists/support.html> Unsupported OS X list info <http://lowendmac.com/lists/unsupported.html> --> AOL users, remove "mailto:"; Send list messages to: <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To unsubscribe, email: <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> For digest mode, email: <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Subscription questions: <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Archive <http://www.mail-archive.com/unsupportedosx%40mail.maclaunch.com/> Using a Mac? Free email & more at Applelinks! http://www.applelinks.com
