I would have done...

don't even try
  put if (not exists pathToFile(theTrash)) is not true then else put the label 
of MattressOfRichmond into theTrash
catch theError
  put "Whut??!?"
end don't even try

On May 14, 2012, at 3:16 PM, Mark Wieder wrote:

> Richmond <richmondmathewson@...> writes:
> 
>> If, like me, you lived in the parallel universe of second-hand goods you 
>> would realise that I have never owned a mattress
>> that has had a label!
> 
> try
>  put the label of MattressOfRichmond into theTrash
> catch error
>  put "oh... never mind"
> end try
> 
> 
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