On 26/03/15 17:00, Phil Fitzpatrick wrote:
> How do I speak to a REAL person at this company so I can get some REAL help?

ApacheCon 2015 is being held at Hyatt-Austin, in Austin, Texas, 13 - 17
April, 2015.
Conference registration can be done over the web at
http://events.linuxfoundation.org/events/apachecon-north-america



But I suspect that what you mean, is where you can get support for
Apache Open Office, either over the phone, or in person.

If so, then start with the organizations and individuals listed at
http://www.openoffice.org/bizdev/consultants.html
or
http://www.libreoffice.org/get-help/professional-support/
Vendors listed on either the LibreOffice or Apache OpenOffice page,
should be able to provide the same degree of support for both programs.

There are an unknown number of additional vendors of paid support, but
do not advertize that fact. Typically, these vendors work within a small
geographic area --- maybe as large as the county in which the
organization is located in.

What that paid support includes, is all over the map:
* Instruction only;
* Fixing one document only;
* Phone only;
* email only;
* Phone & email;
* In-person;
* Phone, email, in-person;
* Fixing minor bugs;
* Fixing major bugs;
* Rewriting the software to do what you want it to do;

How the cost of the paid support is calculated, is all over the map:
* Flat rate: US$1,000 per incident;
* Flat rate: US$5,000 per hour or part thereof;
* Flat rate: US$40,000 per year;
* US$50 per person, with in minimum of χ people. (I don't know if the
firm that provided support on that basis is still in business.);

The cost of the paid support is also all over the map:
* US$30 per hour is the lowest per hour rate I've seen;
* US$5,000 is the highest per hour rate I've seen;

The bigger firms target the SMB market.
The smaller firms tend to target the SOHO market.
AFAIK, the only firm that specifically targeted the consumer market is
now out of business. (I'm ignoring the firms that provided support to
individuals, as long as the government was picking up the tab, here.)

jonathon

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