[USMA:24097] Merry Christmas Santa

[John Nichols]

>
Sorry about the FFU
>
>the physicist in all of us will appreciate this one
>
>
> > >>
> > >>Is there a Santa?
> > >>
> > >>A little girl named Virginia asked the New York Times if there was
> > >>a Santa
> > >>Clause. The reply is now famous.
> > >>
> > >>Someone thought it would be fun to ask the scientists at NASA the
> > >>same
> > >>question. Here is their reply:
> > >>
> > >>No known species of reindeer can fly. But there ARE 300,000 species
> > >>of
> > >>living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are
> > >>insects
> > >>and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer, which
> > >>only
> > >>Santa has seen.
> > >>
> > >>There are two billion children (under 18) in the world. But since
> > >>Santa
> > >>doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist and Jewish
> > >>children, that
> > >>reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 138 million or so. At an
> > >>average
> > >>rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One
> > >>presumes
> > >>there is at least one good child in each. Santa has 31 hours of
> > >>Christmas
> > >>to
> > >>work with, thanks to time zones and the rotation of the earth,
> > >>assuming he
> > >>travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second.
> > >>
> > >>This is to say that for each household with good children, Santa
> > >>has
> > >>1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the
> > >>chimney,
> > >>fill the stockings, distribute the remaining gifts under the tree,
> > >>eat
> > >>snacks, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh, and move
> > >>to the
> > >>next house.
> > >>
> > >>Assuming that each of these 91.8 million houses are distributed
> > >>evenly
> > >>(which we know to be false but for the sake of these calculations
> > >>we will
> > >>accept) we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total
> > >>trip of
> > >>75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops. This means that
> > >>Santa's
> > >>sleigh is travelling at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed
> > >>of
> > >>sound.
> > >>
> > >>For comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space
> > >>probe moves
> > >>at a poky 27.4 mps. The average reindeer runs at 15 mph. The
> > >>sleigh's
> > >>payload adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child
> > >>gets
> > >>nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is
> > >>carrying
> > >>321,300 TONS, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as
> > >>overweight.
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds.
> > >>Even
> > >>granting that "flying reindeer" (see first paragraph) could pull
> > >>TEN TIMES
> > >>the usual amount, we cannot do the job with 8 or even 9. We need
> > >>214,000
> > >>reindeer. This increases the weight, not even counting the sleigh,
> > >>to
> > >>353,430 tons.
> > >>
> > >>Again, for comparison this is 4 times the weight of the British
> > >>liner Queen
> > >>Elizabeth 2.
> > >>
> > >>353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates an enormous
> > >>air
> > >>resistance. This will heat the reindeer in the same manner as a
> > >>spacecraft
> > >>re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will
> > >>absorb
> > >>14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy..... Per second..... Each! In
> > >>short, they
> > >>will burst in flame almost instantaneously, exposing the next pair
> > >>of
> > >>reindeer, and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.
> > >>
> > >>The entire team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousands of a
> > >>second. Santa,
> > >>meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times
> > >>the
> > >>force
> > >>of gravity. A 300-pound Santa would be pinned to the back of his
> > >>sleigh by
> > >>4,325,015 pounds of force.
> > >>
> > >>CONCLUSION: There was a Santa, but he's dead now.
> >
>


John Nichols BE, Ph.D. (Newcastle), MIE (Aust), Chartered Professional Engineer
Assistant Professor
Texas A&M University
Department of Construction Science
Langford AC
Rm: A414 MD 3137
College Station, TX 77843-3137

Electronic mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Telephone: 979 845 6541
Facsimile: 979 862 1572
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a fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi

in front a precipice, behind a wolf
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