Pat, The maintenance items below have been going around for years on all sorts of airlines. I don't believe they are specifically Qantas. Qantas has had accidents, they've just never killed anyone in one of these accidents.
Just spent 3 weeks in Australia, really great country, found just about everything metric which was very refreshing. Even Low Joule Lemon drink! Mike Payne > [Original Message] > From: Pat Naughtin <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > To: U.S. Metric Association <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Date: 14/10/03 01:03:14 > Subject: [USMA:27173] Qantas - off topic - for pilots only! > > After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form that they call called a > gripe sheet. This conveys to the mechanics any problems with the aircraft > encountered during the flight that need repair or correction. > > The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on > the lower half of the form saying what remedial action was taken. The next > pilot to fly that particular aircraft reviews the gripe sheets before the > next flight. > > Here are some logged maintenance complaints and problems (P) as submitted b= > y > Qantas pilots, together with the solution (S) recorded by maintenance > engineers. > > P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. > S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. > > P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. > S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. > > P: Something loose in cockpit. > S: Something tightened in cockpit. > > P: Dead bugs on windshield. > S: Live bugs on back-order. > > P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. > S: Evidence removed. > > P: DME volume unbelievably loud. (Distance Measuring Equipment) > S: DME volume set to more believable level. > > P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. > S: That's what they're there for. > > P: IFF inoperative. > S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. > > P: Suspected crack in windshield. > S: Suspect you're right. > > P: Number 3 engine missing. > S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. > > P: Aircraft handles funny. > S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. > > P: Target radar hums. > S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. > > P: Mouse in cockpit. > S: Cat installed. > > P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding > on something with a hammer. > S: Took hammer away from midget. > > Never let it be said that engineers, and ground crews, lack a sense of > humour! > > By the way, the Australian airline, Qantas, is the only major airline that > has never had an accident =AD they must be doing something right. > > Cheers, > > Pat Naughtin > Geelong, Australia > --=20 --- Michael Payne --- [EMAIL PROTECTED] --- EarthLink: The #1 provider of the Real Internet.
