---
Reminds you of ???????????? ?????????
> My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She
> asked, 'What's on TV?'
> I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started...
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> ------
>
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. . She
> said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
> I bought her a scale. And then the fight started...
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> ------
>
> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place
> expensive... so, I took her to a gas station. And then the fight started...
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> ------
>
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
> Security.. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
> verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
> home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
> come back later.
> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my
> curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough
> for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
>
> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social
> Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might
> have gotten for the disability, too.'
> And then the fight started...
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> ------
>
>
>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
> staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
> table.
> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.
> I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years
> ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
> 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating
> that long?'
> And then the fight started...
>
>
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
> ------
>
>
>
> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
> first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you
> worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself."
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ------------ --------- --------- ---
>
> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
> with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat
> and ugly.
> I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your
> eyesight's damn near perfect.'
> And then the fight started..... .
>
>
>
> ------------ --------- --------- ------
>
> I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
> Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would
> make her look better at night than the cold cream.
> And then the fight started....
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
>
> My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as
> much as the dress she wore yesterday and then the fight started.....
>
>
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
>
> A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3
> o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman,
> bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That
> must be my husband!' So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked
> jumped out the
> window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his
> car as fast as he could go.
> A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at
> the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
> The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
> And then the fight started.....
>
>
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
>
> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the
> dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the
> truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was
> blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and
> discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
> I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
> I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and
> whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
> My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out
> fishing in that?'
> And then the fight started ....
>
>
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
> I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? " It warmed my
> heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been
> in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
> And that's when the fight started....
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- ------ - - -
>
> My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in
> bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
> "No," she answered.
> I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this
> time, simply saying "Yes."
> So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight
> started....
>
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
>
> When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I
> should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of
> first: the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important
> to me.
> Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home
> one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a
> tiny pair of sewing scissors.
> I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone
> only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
> 'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep the
> driveway.'
> And that's when the fight started...
>
>
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