To all my mother friends....
A woman named Emily renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office
was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated,
uncertain how to classify herself. "What I mean is," explained the recorder,
"do you have a job, or are you just a... "Of course I have a job," snapped
Emily. "I'm a mother." "We don't list 'mother' as an occupation... 'housewife'
covers it," said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same
situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career
woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
"Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar." "What is your occupation?" she
probed. What made me say it, I do not know... The words simply popped out. "I'm
a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ballpoint pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she
had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most
significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in
bold, black ink on the official questionnaire. "Might I ask," said the clerk
with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have
a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't), in the laboratory and
in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (the whole darned family), and already have four
credits, (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in
the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day,
(24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill
careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed
the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door. As I drove into our
driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab
assistants - ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental
model, (a 6 month old baby), in the child-development program, testing out a
new vocal pattern.
I felt triumphant! I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the
official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind
than "just another mother." Motherhood...What a glorious career! Especially
when there's a title on the door. Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research
Associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" and great
grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates"? I think so!!! I also
think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants".
Radhika Sheshashayee
.
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