- Gary
At 11:54 AM 11/20/2003, you wrote:
To the List,
I am currently in the wonderful situation of being so wholly engaged by life that some things have to give !! And for now one of them is VFB.
Over a year ago, I hit an EXTREME low point in my life. I was hospitalized for 7 days for nothing. I experienced severe chest pain as I was just about to leave with a friend for 5 days of fishing in the Keys. We were to stay with my friends in Marathon. It was a suspected heart attack, I was amazed !! I was in the best shape of my post cancer/post accident life. This could not be. I was cycle spinning 5 days a week. HARD CARDIO WORKOUTS. 3 sessions of deep water aqua-fitness for mobility. Had all the tests including a cardiac cath.
It turned out to be nothing. TOTAL FALSE ALARM. However, something in me just gave out.
While it was a false alarm, I had no emotional or physiological resources to snap back. And while the event paled in comparison to the events of the past six years. my daughters death, the prostate cancer, the auto accident and medically induced diabetes as a result prednisone treatment, those events has left me emotionally and spiritual bankrupt and into the crapper I went.
In some ways even lower than after Rebecca's death. For the only time in 30+ years Diane would say " I feel like I can't count on you" and I could only reply, Your right, you can't." And, I know Billy and Dena both spoke to Diane about what is wrong with Dad. "What can we do? Does he need help?" etc.
Tough, tough times.
Of the many, many gifts I have been blessed with in my life, my wife is by far the greatest. I will never know by whose grace I have been blessed by her love. And having been through difficult times before, she knew, even in her few moments of isolation and exasperation that this to would pass.
And it did.
from the last stanzas of "After"- Octavia Paz (Nobel Laureate) ........ and after I judged myself and sentenced myself to perpetual waiting and perpetual loneliness I heard on the stones of my dungeon of syllogisms the sweet tender sensitive humid sounds of the onset of spring and the return of spirit ................
Well for me it was the late summer and fall, but the return of spirit nonetheless.
Doing a bunch of thing all of which I love. They sort of found me. Occasionally doing my weekend workshops. Mostly personal growth, also have a corporate model. Am the fishing GURU for a local kayak shop. Advise folks on which yak to buy, how to set it up, where to go, even take them out sometime-- YUP GETTING PAID TO FISH.
I am also the sales manager for the COASTAL ANGLER MAGAZINE Putting together a sales team to increase ad revenue.
Finally, a friend has asked me to train trainers for a consumer marketing company that pushes consumer electronics in Best Buy, Circuit City, etc. Will be training guys for Sony DigiCams thru X-mas season.
BUT, I can't do lots of e-mail right now. So Happy turkey day, Hanukah, Christmas, Kwanza, New Year's etc. See ya in January.
Finally, for those of you who have helped me through these past years, I love you as family and I hope I have let you know how important and valuable you have been to me and to my family.
JG
Jerry Goldsmith Altamonte Springs, Fl [EMAIL PROTECTED]
