> From: Don Johnson <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Date: Fri, 2 Jan 2004 08:03:26 -0800 (PST) > To: Allan Fish <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Subject: Attn: Allan (Bumper Stickers and License plates...) PART 2 > > Also previously published in The Silver Valley Voice. > > Evolution of a Fishing Car > > It all started back in March or April when I > inherited the thing. Since then, Darwin would be > proud of the rate at which it has "evolved". The > "Salmonator" as she has affectionately come to be > called, started life as a simple 1972 Dodge Dart. As > this beauty seasoned over time it is apparent that she > has not aged well and Father Time has done her no > favors. She needs a little cosmetic surgery here and > there but it'll never happen. Such things would be > vain and vanity is for the shallow. She burns a little > oil and requires transmission fluid on a regular basis > to keep up with the leak I have been unable to locate. > The interior of the Salmonator cleaned up quite well > and all the aromas seem to have dissipated to a > somewhat tolerable level. The driver's-side seat still > needs some attention but the hole, filled nicely with > a pillow and a blanket, is hardly noticeable even on a > short trip. > The evolutionary process is what is truly amazing > here though. It started with the addition of a > Pflueger Trump fly reel. It is a dual purpose > accessory in that having it loaded up with 30# dacron > backing allows it to serve as an emergency winch as > well as one hell of a classy hood ornament. I had fly > line on it for a while, in case I forgot or broke a > reel on the stream, but decided I didn't want anything > that valuable attached to the car. > I tie a lot of flies and am always looking for a deal > on tying materials. There really is no better deal > than road kill. Free tying materials are to be had by > the road kill collector, which really helps when you > are on a tight budget. I began thinking that if I > started initiating road kill, rather than just > collecting old road kill, I could reap a lot more > benefits. Not only would I have good materials > humanely gathered, I could also have dinner fixins. > Initial tests with this brainstormed idea were > hopeless failures. I was constantly ruining a lot of > materials and meat due to poor aiming ability. This > deficiency spawned the next step in the evolutionary > process for the Salmonator. > The addition of a large, brass bead on top of the > front left quarter panel allows for excellent sight > procurement and target acquisition and has been > responsible for a marked increase of my efficiency > behind the wheel. Gone are the days of road pies and > mangled materials. I feel like Eddie Richenbacher when > I am behind the wheel. Just call me Ace. > Other do-dads include custom float tube tie downs, > some much needed "Beware of Dog" warning signs for the > back doors, my guide net for landing road kill which > has not yet expired, and a damned ingenious rod > holder. The float tube tie downs are going to really > come in handy, especially when I can finally afford a > float tube. The signs and net are pretty > self-explanatory but the rod holder has become a great > conversation piece. It is simply a couple pieces of > wood screwed to two brackets, which are then bolted to > the car. There is one on the hood and one on the roof > and hold the rod by means of Velcro that is attached > to the wood. I can, and have, zipped down the road at > 70 mph without even a slight falter of the system. > Orvis gets about a hundred dollars for a similar type > holding device, but once again, I do not want anything > of value detracting from the character of this fine > automobile. > I added a few choice bumper stickers to round out the > rear end and add a little more flavor and am, for the > most part, done adding stuff. I have to be honest and > admit that further additions to the Salmonator have > halted primarily due to threats of violence and > divorce from the spousal unit. The last conversation > was a heated one with a few highly descriptive > adjectives and nouns and some muttering about marrying > the "village idiot" or something. > The Salmonator really is a fun car to drive when she > starts. I especially like "cruising" while talking on > my cellular phone for the sheer enjoyment I get out of > seeing all the different looks of bewilderment I > receive. I often wonder what they are thinking and > have only been able to surmise that they are jealous > and are brimming with envy. > I guess my jewel-in-the-rough may even be worth quite > a chunk of change to the right classic-automotive > connoisseur. According to a manager at a lending > institution we recently conducted business with, the > Salmonator is a five thousand-dollar asset to my > financial holdings. At times I would rather call her a > pain in the asset but since she was free, I can't. > Recently some uninformed individual vaguely > insinuated that I am a "yuppie" fly fisherman because > of the bamboo rods and expensive reels I fish with. I > still get a chuckle out of this because all the > yuppies I have ever seen would not be caught dead > driving, or riding in, such a vehicle. I guess it > never dawned on the person that the reason I fish with > the equipment I have is because of what I drive, not > in spite of it. Some people just don't get it and > probably never will. > As time goes on I am sure the Salmonator will > continue it's evolutionary journey. It may not happen > as rapidly as in the immediate past, but it will > continue. It will need new tires soon and I was > thinking of some beefy truck tires so I don't get a > flat when I drive around the woods. To do this might > necessitate a lift kit of some sort, maybe a > three-inch Rancho suspension or something. It needs a > cupholder really bad and since it does not have air > conditioning I have contemplated one of those little > 12-volt fans like you see on busses and in taxicabs. > Bolt one of those right to the dashboard, let it > oscillate and I would be in the proverbial "lap of > luxury". Yes, I believe old Darwin would be amazed at > this fine example of his theory although he might have > a difficult time figuring out where the Salmonator > stands in relation to other automotive advances in > engineering and technology. Then again, maybe she's in > a class all by herself. > > > --- Allan Fish <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: >> So, Don. Would you mind telling the story again? >> >> Allan >> -- > > > ===== > Not so new but still under construction: > http://www.geocities.com/salmn8r/northwestcountryflies.html > > "Skues me while I sink my fly!" Jimi Hendrix, guitar player & wet fly fanatic. > > __________________________________ > Do you Yahoo!? > Find out what made the Top Yahoo! Searches of 2003 > http://search.yahoo.com/top2003
