You might be a Redneck if:
76. You have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window.
77. You show your boyfriend you really love him by carving his name on
your arm.
78. You've ever had to turn your pickup truck around because of bridge
clearance restrictions.
79. You've ever had to scratch your sisters name out of a message that
begins, "For a good time call...."
80. You ever hit on somebody in a V.D. clinic.
81. Your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
82. You bought a VCR because wrestling is on while your at work.
83. After the Prom you drove the truck while your date hit road signs
with beer bottles.
84. All of your four letter words are two syllables.
85. You've ever been too drunk to fish.
86. You cut your toenails in front of company.
87. You view the upcoming family reunion as a chance to meet women.
88. Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
89. Hitchhikers won't get in the car with you.
90. You've ever heard a sheep bleat and had romantic thoughts.
91. Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
92. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
93. You can spit without opening your mouth.
94. You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
95. You call your boss "dude".
96. You have grease under your toenails.
97. You consider your license plate personalized because your father
made it.
98. Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
99. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
100. You've ever been fired from a construction job because of your
appearance.
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Jimmy D. Moore - Scout Exec. BSA (Ret.), TOWA, TF&G Contributor, GRTU Past VP.
Past Pres. McGregor Rotary. Freelance Outdoor writer, humorist, half-assed Texan
and collector of classic bamboo fly rods and classic golf clubs
Author - "MOON HOLLER MISFITS Fishing & Hunting Club", �
JIMMY D's Fly Fishing Website:
http://home.earthlink.net/~rayado/rayadoflyfishingflypatternstips/index.html
RAYADO CLASSIC GOLF: Classic Golf Clubs for the discerning collector
http://home.earthlink.net/~rayado/
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"Being able to read trout streams is just as valuable to a fly fisherman as the
ability to read a defense is to an NFL Quarterback."
Jimmy D. Moore - � [2004]
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