I use My Calendar. It is integrated with FB and has an app that lives on your phone. You can set it to alert you a certain amount of days ahead of a birthday as well as the day of the birthday. It works with your info in your contacts list and your FB list as well. You can also add Custom birthdays to the list. It will give you the list of your FB friends and you can check or uncheck the ones you want to have a message sent to to add them and have them add you to their list.
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