Posted by Ilya Somin: Superman and the Law: http://volokh.com/archives/archive_2006_07_02-2006_07_08.shtml#1152332702
Famed science fiction writer Orson Scott Card has an excellent review of Superman Returns [1]here. Since I can't hope to compete with Card in analyzing the movie's plot and artistic qualities, I'm going to stick to my comparative advantage and analyze the legal issues in the movie instead. What legal issues, you ask? Where to begin!p> A key plot point in the film is Lex Luthor's release from prison when an "appellate court" overturned his conviction for the crimes he committed in Superman I and II. Luthor tells Lois Lane that he was released because Superman (supposedly off on a 5 year voyage into space) was unavailable to testify as a witness before the appellate judges. The problem here is that appellate courts do NOT call witnesses; usually, they only review the trial court's resolution of legal issues. Even in the rare cases where an appellate court does overturn a trial court's rulings on facts, they do not do so by taking additional testimony from witnesses. This suggests that Luthor's statement is just a cover story, intended to divert the press' attention away from the real facts (Lois, of course, is a prominent reporter). Luthor seems to hint at the truth when he implies to Lois that another reason for his release was that Superman violated Luthor's Miranda and constitutional due process rights. But as any first year law student should know, Superman - a private citizen (actually, an illegal alien!) - is not bound by either the Miranda decision or the Due Process Clauses of the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments. Only the government and its agents are covered by these legal restraints. This proves that Superman, contrary to his public persona as an independent superhero, is in reality a secret agent of the government. Somehow, Luthor's lawyers must have discovered this information and used it to overturn his conviction. Most likely, the government agreed to forego a retrial in exchange for Luthor's agreement to keep quiet about Superman's true occupation. There is other circumstantial evidence that Superman is really a government agent. For example, the movie states that he disappeared "five years ago," right around the time of 9/11, and he reappears in the summer of 2006, soon after the death of Zarqawi. The inexplicably swift arrival of US forces right after Zarqawi was killed in an "airstrike" is easily explained if Zarqawi was actually killed by Superman, who of course could arrive on the scene seconds after getting intelligence on Zarqawi's location. Clearly, Superman spent the last five years carrying out secret missions against major Al Qaeda operatives, and what I have previously condemned as his [2]irrational focus on Luthor is probably just a cover story; indeed, Luthor himself may be a CIA asset used to throw the press off the scent. That may also explain why, as I previously commented, Luthor's schemes for world domination are so harebrained and why he uses such incompetent henchman. Luthor doesn't want the schemes to succeed; they only exist to divert the attention of gullible reporters away from Superman's real activities! Outlandish plots and idiotic henchmen are more likely to be discovered by the press than well-conceived plans executed by competent people! Furthermore, Superman's secret work for the government helps explain why anti-immigration congressmen have not called for his deportation, despite the fact that he is clearly an illegal alien. Of course, my conclusion would be undermined if these critical plot points were simply egregious errors on the part of the movie's screenwriters. It would indeed be unfortunate if our greatest superhero were sullied by such incompetent constitutional analysis. To prevent similar defects from marring the Man of Steel's future appearances, I hereby volunteer to serve as the official introductory constitutional law consultant for the next Superman movie. I promise that my services can be had for much less money than Warner Brothers paid to the overpriced Hollywood lawyers who seem to have mucked up Superman Returns! References 1. http://www.hatrack.com/osc/reviews/everything/2006-06-30-extra.shtml 2. http://volokh.com/posts/1149708903.shtml _______________________________________________ Volokh mailing list Volokh@lists.powerblogs.com http://lists.powerblogs.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/volokh
