Howdy,
Unfortunately, as my good friend John Schnurer is no
longer of this world, he can't do this with me, so
I'll have to do his share of it. He loved mischeif,
even towards the end when his Parkinson's made it
almost impossible for him to type (and sometimes
communicate at all) effectively, so I'm sure he'd have
gotten a kick out of this latest Evil Plan (tm) of
mine.
The local dumbass greeners (save the world! Kill a
human!) have informed me I am to participate in
something called Earth Hour. Not watching TV nor
listening to talk radio, I didn't know what this was.
I googled it, and my retinas almost shit a Christmas
tree when I saw how /dreadful/ the white-text-on-black
looked on my LCD monitor (low power...).
>From 8 to 9 pm tonight, "I is 'sposed'" to turn off
all unnecessary electricity to show "good faith" in
doing something to save the planet. Excuse me a moment
while I grab my Pepto-Bismol...
...Ahh, much better. Where were we? Oh yes. The Hour
of Doom. Now, being someone who wants to use a .44
Automag on any vehicle that displays an assload of
'awareness ribbons', seeing as they are quite
hypocritical in most cases (I'll make some exceptions
for the truly good out there), I have to ask myself a
few things. Is this gonna do jack shit? Nope. Bet not.
Is Al Gore the Boring going to stop using more
electicity in a single month than I use in a year? I
bet not. Does he have his mansion at 58 F in the
winter? Bet not. Oh, but he uses GREEN energy sources.
Bullshit, this is just pushing the cards around. Mark
my words: the carbon credit/carbonocracy is going to
be as bad or worse than the petrocracy we have right
now.
Back to me...well, now, what do I do to do my part to
bring peace on Earth to all mankind? (the preceding
sentence was supposed to look terrible)
1. Heat is OFF during times I'm at work. I
superinsulated the attic, and I can tolerate 40-45F
for a couple hours while it warms back up. I use about
25-30% less natural gas per month of winter by doing
this.
2. I use almost exclusively fluorescent lighting in my
place, and encourage the landlady to do the same. She
has heeded my words, and we use a lot less power. I
also go around turning stuff off when it is not used.
I hate leaving a light burning for no reason. The only
incandescents I use are for applications where one
must do so: hard-duty worklights that are used in the
cold, bench tools that require smaller bulbs for which
no LED substitute exists. (I ADORE LEDs. Why aren't
there screw-in LED devices? Are there??? Tell me!)
3. I don't use A/C. Who the hell needs it in western
NY? I don't...of course, the superinsulation helps
keep the heat out, so, there's a start.
4. No TV for me, except the occasional movie with my
wife. I like the old transistor radio myself, but I
like chasing numbers stations down, and dislike talk
radio, so...yeah...
5. Flat-panel LCD monitor. 'Nuff said, uses very
little.
6. A few other things from time to time, but these are
low-duty things.
7. I maintain my car carefully, and keep the air
levels up in the tires. As such, I maximize gas
mileage, and with a little careful planning, get the
most out of a Saturday morning of 'making my rounds.'
Electric bill this month: $37, rounded up.
Gas bill this month: $79, rounded up.
Gasoline used: 1 tanks-worth, or 15 U.S. gallons, or
about $50 worth. This was actually a BAD week for
gasoline for me, as I had to go many more places than
usual, for reasons that are no environmentalist's
f**king business.
Did I mention the heat source for my place is a 99%
efficient ventless heater? It also humidifies the air,
so, it helps my sinus problems a good deal.
I use glassware and ceramicware, I don't like paper
plates or styrofoam cups. I try to use everything I
can, and waste as little as I can.
Tonight, however, from 8 to 9 pm, I'm going to take a
vacation from that, and prove *my* point to these
worthless scumbags who scream that 'someone should do
something!' but then say 'Not me!!!' when the cannon
of change is pointed at them. Tonight, I will operate
during that hour, the following:
2x four-foot fluorescent light fixtures, dual bulbs,
40W each.
2x 500W halogen floodlights.
1x Tektronix 465B oscilloscope.
1x Tektronix 475 oscilloscope. (actually gonna use
this...)
1x Hartley oscillator (with the above 'scope)
1x 100W incandescent light.
1x Drill press...I'm just gonna let her idle...
1x 6" bench grinder. Same as above, let her spin...
1x soldering iron, set to MAX, or 40W.
1x shortwave radio.
1x Television + DVD player + amplifier and
speakers...maybe I'll watch Dances With Wolves, ain't
seen that in a while...or some anime? Maybe listen to
Johnny Cash?
1x Computer.
1x Oscillating fan. Too cold for it, but hey, maybe
I'll run it outside.
***BONUS!***
1x 1HP 3450rpm motor, connected to nothing, for NO
GOOD REASON.
1x charcoal BBQ grill, for NO GOOD REASON.
Idle my Buick Regal for one hour. It's actually good
for the motor to run it out a while. Give me the
opportunity to check for leaks, too. Guess that makes
it not so much of a bonus, huh?
Maybe I'll have my gang of nefarious cohorts come over
tonight and help me figure out other ways of being
just plain bad for one hour.
As of 9 pm, I go back to my normal 24/7 lifestyle:
conservatism. (NOT Neocon, though, God forbid!!!)
I do hope you guys get the point in all this.
--Kyle
P.S., RC, what are they doing for Earth Hour at the
Dime Box Saloon? Anything good? Anything /bad/?
Inquiring minds wanna know.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Be a better friend, newshound, and
know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.
http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ
