I was looking at a car detailer web site and came across this in a
section of the site called car humour. I think Ronni will get a big
kick out of it.
If Microsoft Built Cars
• Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a
new car
• Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for no reason,
accept this, restart and drive on
• Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre would cause your car to stop and
fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the engine. For some
strange reason, you'd just accept this too
• You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you
bought a "Car 95" or a "Car NT". But then you'd have to buy more seats
• Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as
reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but it would
only run on five percent of the roads
• The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to
their cars which would make their cars go much slower
• The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced
with a single "General Car Fault" warning light
• People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars,
forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for
many years
• We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas and all auto fluids but the
packaging would be superb
• New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt • The
airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off
• If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened
• They wouldn't build their own engines, but form a cartel with their
engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 16 cylinders,
multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a side-valve
design so you could use Model-T Ford parts on it
• There would be an "Engium Pro" with bigger turbos, but it would be
slower on most existing roads
• Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player which
would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play Microsoft
Cassettes. Unless of course, you buy the upgrade to use existing stuff
• Microsoft would do so well, because even though they don't own any
roads, all of the road manufacturers would give away Microsoft cars
free, including IBM!
• If you still ran old versions of car (i.e. CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN 3.11),
then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be able to drive
much faster, and on more roads!
• If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, then you could just borrow
your friends, and then copy it
• Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganize the ignition
for a few days before it worked
• You would need to buy an upgrade to run cars on a motorway next to
each other
