>>>Later in the show, the little boy's father shows up to get the bike back >>>from Andy. To the little boy's surprise, the father decides to take Andy's >>>advice and take the little boy out to the woodshed and give him a spanking.
How do you feel about this? Of course, I do understand that most of us really love the TAGS so much, but in today's society we may not always agree with certain things they did back then.<<< Val, there are differing opinions on this topic, partly due to how a person was raised, but let me try to address it in a rational (as opposed to emotional) manner. I am in my forties, and I have a seven-year-old daughter. My parents used spanking as a form of punishment when it was needed on me and my siblings. I grew up to be a happy, well-adjusted person who loves and respects my parents. (The same is true for my siblings.) I appreciate that they taught me right from wrong and did not allow flagrant disobedience to go unpunished. Corporal punishment did not cause me bodily harm, nor did it damage my psyche. My husband and I have used spanking on our daughter since she was a toddler, though this occurs less and less now that she is seven. She and I share a close and loving relationship. Why do so many people now shun corporal punishment for children? Most will say that there is potential for abuse, so it's better not to spank at all. Andrea Yeager killed her children by drowning them in a bathtub. Should I, therefore, not give my child a bath because I might be tempted to drown her? That, of course, is an extreme example, and everyone would agree that such reasoning is downright silly. But it makes about as much sense to me as the abuse excuse. Could it be that since Dr. Spock began telling parents not to spank around forty to fifty years ago that most adults nowadays don't know how to properly administer corporal punishment? Perhaps. I follow some simple self-imposed guidelines when I spank my child. First, I explain to her exactly what she did wrong and remind her that she has been explicitly told otherwise (and most of the time I have previously warned her, "If you do this again, you will be spanked"). I speak in calm tones and do not spank in haste. I use only my hand, because I feel that a hand imparts enough of a sting, but an object such as a paddle could easily hurt more than I intend it to. I normally give about three swats (when she was little, only one or two). After the spanking is done, I don't allow my daughter to run off and sulk and nurse her anger at me. Rather, I pull her to me and either hug her or hold her on my lap and remind her that I do not enjoy spanking but that I punish her out of love in order to teach her right from wrong and to teach her that disobedience hurts. This both dispels her anger and assures her of my love. My goal is to break her will (that is, her rebelliousness) but not her spirit. This method allows her to experience both punishment and healing. Lastly, I try to be consistent, and if I tell her that an offense will result in a spanking, I follow through. I want her to know that I mean what I say. I will freely admit that there have been a few occasions in the past seven years when I have spanked in anger. When this has happened, I have always gone back to my daughter later and apologized to her -- not for the spanking, but for the fact that I did it while angry. Because I teach her, "Control your anger; don't let your anger control you," I feel I must set the right example, and when I don't, I need to admit it and deal with it. She is always quick to forgive. Yes, there are, sadly, parents who beat and abuse their children instead of using corporal punishment in a positive, corrective manner. Some of them have experienced abuse as children and become abusive themselves as adults. I have to wonder, however, if the rising number of abusive parents is actually related to the DECREASE of spanking. In other words, perhaps there are so many out-of-control parents today because yesterday they were out-of-control children who were not brought under control by their own parents through proper punishment and correction. Some people say, "If you just sit down and reason with a child, he will understand, and there will be no need for punishment." Such people begin with a false premise -- that human beings are inherently good and only become bad when they are mistreated or are influenced by a bad environment (the "noble savage" concept). Such people are also probably not parents! Parents know that children are not "reasonable" by nature. No child has to be taught to do wrong! He will come up with that all by himself! Those of you who are Christians should be aware of what the Bible says on the subject of parents correcting their children. If you would like some verses on this topic, contact me off list and I'll be glad to send you a few. Sorry for the long post, and I won't say any more about it. If anyone wants to discuss with me anything related to this post, please contact me off list. Thelma Lou (Janet) _______________________________________________ WBMUTBB mailing list [email protected] http://mail.wbmutbb.com/mailman/listinfo/wbmutbb_wbmutbb.com http://www.mayberry.com/tagsrwc/wbmutbb/
