>>>>I must correct what the Untrained Voice posted yesterday accusing
my friend Fred Henry of sitting on slip covers with the Widow Saunders.
Although Fred Henry likes to gossip a lot with Floyd in the barbershop
to the point where Floyd can't move his jaw muscles and his scissors at
the same time, I happen to know that it wasn't Fred who was sitting on
those $97 slip covers the Widow Saunders' dearly departed husband Wilbur
paid for. It was that traveling dish towel salesman from Raleigh she was
sitting with on those slip covers. Of course, before that the dish towel
salesman drove her to the Half Moon Roadhouse and had a New York cut
steak sitting on the same side of the booth too. So don't blame Fred
for gossiping, er, I mean, relaying information. It's that dish towel
salesman who's moving in on that insurance money...<<<<
(representing the Untrained Voice, Bernard P Fife Attorney at Law)
Well Mr. Schwamp (or whoever you really are, Mr. Schwamp never once
argued) you may be right about the Dish Towel salesman sitting on those
slip covers, bit is it your contention that One Fred Henry was not
somehow involved with the Widow Saunders??
Schwamp (or whoever)
"Yes"
Well my client, The Untrained Voice, did confuse the details of two of
the Widows Saunders frequent acquaintances. And let the record show
that the Dish Towel Salesman did sit on those slip covers as the
accusant stated. We've had the boys at the labs check those slip
covers, and they had not one, but at least two different pant's pocket
prints deeply embedded in them. Your Honor if I may now produce Exhibit
A "The Andy Griffith Show Book" by Jim Clark and Ken Beck. Will you
please open it to page 180 of the fortieth anniversary edition.
(dramatic sound as book is slapped on bench) Will the bailiff please
read what it says after the name Fred Henry on page 180.
Bailiff "Rumored to be courting the widow Saunders; member of
the church choir" (Gasps in the court room)
Fife:
So you see, forgetting the choir part, anyone can get in the choir,
believe me. There you have it. In Mayberry, a rumor is as good as a
fact, and your friend and mine Fred Henry is GUILTY!
I'd like to give my client a moment to speak please. Mr. Voice, go
ahead.
The Untrained Voice
"Well its no big deal I was just trying to share a little valentine's
love and what do I get?
Fife
"Heartaches, Nothing by Heartaches. That what he gets for trying to be
a nice guy!!"
Bernard P Fife Attorney at Law, Representing the Untrained Voice
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