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ANDY: Now, looky here....we better talk about this thing.. Now,
now, now, looky
here Opie. You can't give a little piddling amount like three
cents to a
worthy cause like the Under Privileged Children's Drive. Why, I
was readin'
here just the other day where there was somewhere like 400 needy
boys in
this county alone. Or, one and a half boys per square mile.
OPIE: There is?
ANDY: There sure is.
OPIE: I never seen one, Paw.
ANDY: Never seen one, what?
OPIE: A half a boy.
ANDY: Well, it's not really a half a boy. It's a ratio.
OPIE: Horatio, who?
ANDY: Not Horatio, a ratio. Mathematics. Arithmetic. Now, look,
Opie, just forget
that part of it. Forget the part about the half a boy.
OPIE: It's pretty hard to forget a thing like that, Paw.
ANDY: Well, try.
OPIE: Poor Horatio.
ANDY: Now look....Horatio is not the only needy boy...Son, didn't
you ever give
anybody anything just for the pleasure of it? Somethin' you didn't
want
anything in return for?
OPIE: Sure, just yesterday I gave my friend Jimmy something.
ANDY: Now that's fine. What'd you give him.
OPIE: A sock in the head.
ANDY: I meant charity.
OPIE: I didn't charge him nothing.
ANDY: I meant something for the joy of giving......
OPIE: I ENJOYED IT. I don't like Jimmy anymore. He makes fun of
Charlotte.
ANDY: Who's Charlotte?
OPIE: My girlfriend.
ANDY: Well, I just don't see how anybody who has as much as you
could care so
little about others.
OPIE: I CARE ABOUT OTHERS, honest.
ANDY: Not when you give a little, piddling amount like three
cents. That's being
selfish. You should have given at least a half a dollar or a dollar.
OPIE: A DOLLAR? Gosh, Paw. I only have two dollars and twenty
cents in my
whole piggy bank and I'm saving it to buy Charlotte something.
ANDY: Now well! That's dandy. THAT IS JUST DANDY. Whole dollars
you'll
squander on your girlfriend Charlotte but when it comes to the Under
Privileged Children's Fund you've got only three cents.
OPIE: I wasn't gonna squander it, Paw. I wasn't gonna squander it.
ANDY: Yeah.
OPIE: What's squander?
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