I am so sorry that I am the cause of Dan's sleep problems. Fortunately I have some back issues of my "Learn a Month" Magazine and the 1968 July edition has some insomnia solutions. Don, I strongly urge you to try some or all of the following:
1. People in China treat insomnia by placing a fortune cookie in each ear while soaking their big toe on their left foot in soy sauce. 2. Himalayan people cure insomnia by drinking a mixture of red tea made with the berries of a hibiscus plant and twelve year old Yak dung. The mixture has to be aged for 20 years and by the time it is ready the person with insomnia is dead, so they no longer have a sleep problem. 3. Norwegian people treat insomnia by soaking their lefsa in aged lutifisk oil for two weeks and then inhaling the fumes for three minutes prior to going to bed. 4. Insomnia sufferers in Italy believe insomnia is caused by an inflamed deviated septum. They treat their insomnia by soaking well cooked spaghetti noodles in hot sauce. They then insert a noodle into their left nostril and slowly breath through their nose until the noodles comes out their right nostril. They then gently take hold of each end of the noodle and gentle move it back and forth in a tooth flossing movement. This relieves the inflammation in the deviated septum and sleep will return within several days. And finally. 5. People who sing often suffer from insomnia because of an oversized uvula. In order to shrink the uvula without surgery and cure the insomnia do the following. Have a close friend ( not a relative or spouse ) gently hold your mouth wide open while tilting your head back at an 85 degree angle. Place a mixture of Tabasco sauce and jalapeño peppers on the end of a cotton swab and gently coat the uvula with the mixture. Wait until the mixture solidifies and then carefully place three female leeches onto the uvula. Remove the leeches after about 20 minutes. If done correctly, the uvula should be about half the size it was and the airway should be open sufficiently so the person can once again sleep normally. Please let me know how things go Dan. I am happy to be able to help you. And Dan, if you ever suffer from irritable bowel syndrome, I have some great cures for you with that too. -- Ken Anderson The Mayberry Guru 2906 May Street Eau Claire, Wisconsin 54701 www.themayberryguru.com www.mayberryreflections.com _______________________________________________ WBMUTBB mailing list [email protected] http://www.mayberry.com/tagsrwc/wbmutbb/
