I have a bunch a'fur trees down in my woods so any purty young thing....or  
any ugly ol' men too, iffen y'all's not got a Christmas tree yet, come on 
down  in the woods an' find you a purty one to chop down and haul home.  All 
fer  free!! I've got the Christmas spirit and feel like givin' all a'yall  a 
 tree!!
Jes be careful and don't get too close to Otis's recipe machine. He may get 
 a tad upsot over that!
Old Man Kelsey
Down in Kelsey's Woods....
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