This should really go to the social list, but it's good enough that we
should all enjoy it...

----------------------
This phone support pilot fish for a software vendor has just realized
he'll need 
to get the customer on the other end of the line to check some settings.

He carefully walks the user through the process to get a DOS prompt --
and 
things go downhill from there. 
Fish: "Type the letter A, then the colon, and then press the Enter key."

User: "A and what?" 
Fish: "Colon, the punctuation with one dot right above the other." 
User: "I don't have a colon on my keyboard." 
Fish: "I believe you do. Look to the right of the L key." 
User: "Oh, OK, I see that. Isn't the colon the dot over the comma?" 
Fish: "No, it's a dot over a dot. Please type A, then colon, then press
the 
Enter key." 
User: "OK." 
Fish: "What happened?" 
User: "It says 'Bad command or file name.'" 
Fish: "'Bad command or file name'? Did you type A then colon without a
space in 
between?" 
Silence. 
They try again several times -- and every time, the resulting message is
"Bad 
command or file name." So fish tries another approach. 
Fish: "How about this: Press the A key." 
User: "OK." 
Fish: "Now with your left hand, press and hold down the Shift key next
to the Z 
key." 
User: "OK." 
Fish: "Now put your right index finger over the L key, move one key to
the right 
and press that key." 
User: "OK." 
Fish: "Now let go of the Shift key and press the Enter key. What does it
say?" 
User: "Bad command or file name." 
Fish: "Do you have a secretary?" 
It turns out the user doesn't have a secretary of his own -- it's a
shared 
office environment, with just one secretary available, and user insists
he can't 
call her away from her desk. 
Fish: "It will only take a minute. Please have the secretary come to the

computer and the phone." 
And after much wrangling, the user finally agrees. 
Secretary: "Hello?" 
Fish: "Hi there, thanks for agreeing to help. Please type A colon
return." 
Secretary: "OK." 
Fish: "What does the screen show?" 
Secretary: "An A prompt." 
Fish: "Thank you very much." 
Secretary: "That's all?" 
Fish: "Yes, thank you. Very much." 
"And we proceeded to take care of the problem," says fish. "The customer
later 
called the company and asked that I never be assigned to help him again.
He said 
I made him feel stupid." 

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