"How to maintain a healthy level of insanity in the workplace"
>>
>>1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
>>
>>2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Wear them one day after your boss does (this is especially
effective if your boss is of a different gender than you)
>>
>>3. Make up nicknames for all your co-workers, and refer to them only
by
>these
>> names. "That's a good point, Sparky". "No, I'm sorry, but I'm
going to
>>have to
>> disagree with you there, Cha-cha"
>>
>>4. Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what
you're
>> doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the
bathroom".
>>
>>5. Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much
since
>> you did this.
>>
>>6. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid.
Call
>> everyone Madge.
>>
>>7. Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get
coffee
>> or a printout, or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.
>>
>>8. Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day, and tell people
you're
>>waiting
>> for your document.
>>
>>9. Every time someone asks you to do something --anything--ask him or
her
>if
>> they want fries with that.
>>
>>10. Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an
>>intellectual
>> debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker, and ask him or her to
settle
>>the
>> disagreement.
>>
>>11. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized
chair-
>>dancing.
>>
>>12. Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN"
>>
>>13. Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
>>
>>14. Send e-mail mesages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake
in the
>> lunch room. when people drift back to work complaining that
they
>found
>> none, lean back, pat your stomach, and say "Oh, you've got to
be
>faster
>> than that"
>>
>>15. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has
>> withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
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