I thought I knew MS Access 97. Maybe not in the biblical sense, but I was
familiar with it. Didn't I design a rudimentary database to track all the
bugs in AutoZone's QA department in one week, without knowing MS Access?
Haven't I had daily visits with my close personal friend "MS Access for
Dummies?" Wasn't the class pre-requisite for "Introduction to Database
Systems" minimal knowledge of MS Access?
But then again, the Bridgewater State College teacher was Toby Lorenzen, a
man who loved forcing "independent study" on the student so much, that many
a year I had taken him, for fun, he would place stuff on the tests that was
covered neither in the syllubus, the lectures, nor even in the book. Then
again, instead of a starched white shirt, rigid tie, and dress slacks, and
black rimmed no nonsense glasses, as if he was a consultant about to walk
into IBM, he now wore a multi-colored Bermuda shirts that engulfed his
lanky frame, shoes that looked like slippers, khakis, and some type of
large blue sweat band that wrapped around his head, holding his glasses in
place. Maybe the tests had mellowed with the man?
Fat chance.
Allow me to quote parts of the test. Most of you probably would only like
to skim it, or grab a cup of coffee during this commercial break.
"Once upon a time, there was a college. There were faculty who had names
and social security numbers and offices and advisees and were part of
departments, Of course all faculty members were created equal and the most
equal was called the chairperson. The faculty taught students in courses.
"Students drank beer, partied down, and took courses. The had names and
social security numbers and advisors and major departments.
"The courses the students enrolled in occurred in rooms in buildings in
certain set times on certain days. Each course had an enrollment cap. The
times were incredably flexible (...) Many students who were enrolled in
these courses attended them. Each course was owned by a department and had
a certain amount of credits associated with it. Each section of a course
was taught by just one faculty during a particular semester per year.
"Students attempted to accumulate credits and achieve good grades in order
to graduate in order to work and get two weeks vacation. The faculty were
not too clear on the underlying notion but wished the graduating students
well."
There is much more, but the "entertaining" part is mostly quoted.
But the fun part was that we were given a pencil, some paper, no computer,
and an hour-and-a-half. And the relational database should be able to
handle queries like: every student's clas slist. All student's transcript.
All faculty's class list. Course cancelations. Room schedules. Department
chairpersons and locations. Grade reports for all students.
So our "introduction" began...
And from that hour-and-a-half of work, I have to take this pencil and paper
model of a relational database, plug it into a computer, populate the
database with arround 20 teachers and a hundred students, and generate 8
semesters worth of classes for every single student. Then try to generate
30 or so complicated queries, changing my database model to fit the
queries. And for every single change I have to make from my paper and
pencil model... many points off... for any little change. At first only a
week was assigned to the project... but was extended to 3 or 4 weeks.
Thankfully. ;}
Gah, and this was the first test, given after the first two evening
classes!
-T.J. Maher
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Thomas F. Maher, Jr.| QA Engineer, Web Designer, Web Writer
[EMAIL PROTECTED] | "Computer Geek, Theatre Freak, Roleplaying
Weirdo"
Gadfly Design | http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Alley/3039/
617-628-2533
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