Hey:
I just got this in from a client. It says it all with viruses.
We should all heed it ;-).
George
--------
If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it
immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty
nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but
it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your
computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit
cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the
tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch
any CD you attempt to play.
This virus will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness
settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It
will program your phone auto dial to call only your
mother-in-law's number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish
tank. It will drink all your beer. It will leave dirty socks on
the coffee table when you are expecting company. Its radioactive
emissions will cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz (be
honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears. It will
replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all
while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and
billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way
that is only fun until someone loses an eye. It will give you
Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea. It will rewrite your backup files,
changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating
undetectable misspellings which grossly change the
interpretations of key sentences.
If the "Badtimes " message is opened in a Windows 95 environment:
It will leave the toilet seat up, leave your hair dryer plugged
in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove
the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will
also refill your skim milk with whole milk. It will replace your
luncheon meat with beef tongue. It will molecularly rearrange
your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles.
It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to
behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. These
are just a few signs of infection.
�.���`�.� ><((((�> .���`�.��.���`�.� <�))))>< .���`�.�.���`�.� ><((((�>
�.���`�..���`�.� ><((((�> .���`�.��.���`�.� �.�.���`�.� ><((((�>
.���`�.��.���`�.� <�))))>< .���`�.�.���`�.� ><((((�> �.���`�..���`�.�
><((((�> .���`�.��.���`�.�<�))))>< .���`�.�.
... Smile, someone likes you.
... Turn and smile at the person next to you.
... The next time you see them, smile at the person who sent this to you.
... Send this along to anyone you know who needs a smile.
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