Hi, just red the overview of fedora on fedora web page and some thoughts come
by, so I wanted to share. Hope it will have positive effect :)
Fedora is a Linux-based operating system (thats ok, you my add free in this
section cause it's first impression and you giving it for nothing. Next part
should go for "what's in side"),
a suite of software that makes your computer run (this is NOT a good point,
because if I read it that means my machine IS running... In other words, this
part of short overview is NOT connecting with the deeper levels of customer (or
better to say with user) reasoning emotions. It should contain your spirit of
pioneering... and show that you express this by using linux only in the way the
artist uses white paper to paint his picture and that there is something useful
inside for YOU). The overview should have the spirit by which the user can
recognize (in his unconscious) the spirit which wakes you up every morning and
makes you do what you do (this makes user easier to adjust him self and love
your work). In this part show what you have to share with the other human
being).
You can use the Fedora operating system to replace or to run alongside of other
operating systems such as Microsoft Windows™ or Mac OS X™ (this is not the
hook! it says to the unconscious of the user: we don't know that you are
looking for some new experience and something better, might be, to use on your
PC... (sorry...? why am I here?!) and we have not much to offer except the free
replacements...). So again you waste this part).
The Fedora operating system is 100% free of cost for you to enjoy and share
(And It's Free! - or similar phrase will do better effect then long explanation
(Remember Facebook story: not "The Facebook" but just "Facebook" made the huge
difference). I mean users are always looking for something new and different
and what ever you explain will just blunt the senses of curiosity, pioneering,
and creative imagination. (the main part is giving the tools, and the user WlLL
find where and how to use it). So, as more you explain - more you explain your
self actually, to cover your hidden goals and that says your goal is not what's
here, written for me to read).
Best regards
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