10. "For 10 grand can you make me Pope?"

9. "Hello, is this the Blog-o-bloga- a-da-go-bl- vipivh
residence?"

8. "Hi, it's O.J. Wanna be cellmates?"

7. "Oh, I'm sorry, I think I have the wrong Blagojevich"

6. "Hi, it's Larry Craig — did I hear something about a
senator's seat being available?"

5. "I'm calling about your Senate seat on Craigslist.
Want to trade for a futon?"

4. "Hey, it's Cheney. Damn — even I think you're sleazy"

3. "You really Blagojeviched your political career"

2. "I'm guessing you didn't spend the bribe money on that
haircut"

1. "It's Sarah Palin. Thanks for replacing me as the
country's most embarassing governor"

"Illinois Sen. Rod Blagojevich was arrested yesterday for
trying to sell a seat in the Illinois Senate. He could
wind up in prison, where his seat will be sold to the
highest bidder."
- Conan O'Brien

"Barack Obama has said he will use his full name when he
is sworn in: Barack Hussein Obama. In a show of support,
Joe Biden said he would use his full name: Joseph Adolf
Fidel Puppy Killer Biden."
- Craig Ferguson

"It looks like Barack Obama has been giving jobs to all the Democrats
who ran against him for president. You've got Joe Biden, he got vice
president. Hillary Clinton, secretary of state, Bill Richardson, he
ran against him, he got commerce secretary. And today, he even hired
Dennis Kucinich to play the elf at next year's White House Christmas
party." --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama announced Wednesday that New Mexico Governor Bill
Richardson is his choice for secretary of commerce, which should be
an easy job, now that there isn't any." --Seth Meyers

"And, according to the New York Times, former president Bill Clinton
says he is open to the possibility of a role in the Barack Obama
administration. Well, actually, what he said was, he was looking for
a desk job. I don't know what that means." --Jay Leno

"The head of Regal Entertainment says as the recession gets worse,
more people are coming to the movies. Because nothing helps you
forget your troubles like a $5 Sprite" --Seth Meyers

"Some bad economic news today. They estimate more than a half a
million Americans lost their jobs last month. Unemployment is now at
6.7 percent, that is the highest since 1993. In layman's terms, that
means almost one in ten Americans know what it's like to be K-Fed." --
Jimmy Kimmel

"What a difference a couple of weeks makes. Remember last month, the
three auto company heads flew to Washington in private jets looking
for their bailout? Remember they own the private jets? Well, this
time, the three CEOs drove in their own hybrid cars; 520 miles they
drove in their own hybrid cars. See, you know what I think the
government should have done here? Make it like 'The Amazing Race,'
you see? You drop these guys off, no money, no transportation, give
them some tools, they have to build a car. First one to Washington,
they get the bailout." --Jay Leno [?]

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