"This presidency is finally over. We can say goodbye to an administration whose misdeeds have piled so high that the size of the mountain no longer shocks us. In our lifetimes, we will see administrations of varying degrees of competence and integrity, some we'll agree with and some we won't But we will probably never see another quite like the one now finally reaching its end, so mind-boggling a parade of incompetence and malice, dishonesty, and immorality. So at last - at long, long last - we can say goodbye. And good riddance." --Paul Waldman "President-elect Barack Obama is still looking for a new White House dog. The search is on. In fact, do you realize he has spent more time selecting a dog than John McCain did selecting a running mate?" --Jay Leno "According to CNN, Barack Obama's popularity going into office is higher than Clinton's, Reagan's or either of the President Bush's when they entered office. It's much higher. Well, hang on, hang on. That's on CNN. On Fox, he's somewhere between Attila the Hun and lead poisoning." --Jay Leno "In a speech about the economy, President Bush said, 'Our actions are having an impact.' Yeah, I think it's called a recession." --Jay Leno "Sarah Palin this week was on her "You've Got to be Kidding Me" tour. She did more interviews than she did during the campaign, this week. She was on Matt Lauer, she was on Greta Van Susteren, Wolf Blitzer, Larry King. She would have done this show, she said, but there was a scheduling conflict. Either that, or it was because I called her a retarded stewardess." --Bill Maher "Earlier in the week, you know, this is historic when you think about it, you had President-elect Barack Obama going to the White House for a tour with George Bush, president inept. At one point, George Bush pointed out the window and said, over there, that's where we play t-ball. And that was it." --David Letterman "But the Bushes are packing up. This is eight years they've lived in the White House, and this is interesting. They're going to be gone in January, and the $4 billion moving contract went to Halliburton. " --David Letterman "The Republican party is considering naming the first African-American chairman in their party's history. Isn't that incredible? First African-American, yeah. Unfortunately, Republicans are having a hard time finding an African-American who's white." --Conan O'Brien "And at one point during this meeting, Joe Biden turns to Cheney and he says, 'Dick, tell me, what is it like being second-in-command? ' And Cheney said: 'Hell, I don't know. Ask Bush.'" --David Letterman "Sarah Palin is trying to be bipartisan. She said she wants to help Barack Obama. And I said, 'Well, hasn't she helped him enough already?'" --David Letterman "Actually, Sarah Palin is being courted by a lot of big Hollywood talent agencies. The rumor is she could get her own talk show. She'd be a lot like Rush Limbaugh, but with smaller breasts." -Jay Leno "In Washington, D.C., today, Dick Cheney gave Joe Biden tour of the vice president's living quarters. Yeah, afterwards, Biden said he loves the house, but he'll probably turn the dungeon back into a rec room." --Conan O'Brien "This is an exciting time in Washington. Barack Obama is very busy meeting with his advisors and picking out a cabinet. Meanwhile, John McCain is at Applebee's, blowing on his soup." --David Letterman "Actually, Governor Palin is continuing to defend herself about that clothes issue. She says she has never even set foot in a Neiman Marcus. In fact, she thought Neiman Marcus was the president of the Philippines. " --Jay Leno "Sarah Palin is saying that the reason they lost the election is the media. The media is to blame for losing. Well, yeah, because it's their fault that she entered beauty contests instead of a library." --David Letterman
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