"Due to the slow economy, sperm donations for $50 are way up. Guys, you may be
donating too much sperm if you now refer to your junk as The Ol' ATM."
- Alex Kaseberg
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WANTED
Cardboard box, min. 4ft x 4ft x 4ft, possibly with fireplace.
Needed: ASAP!
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Don't Know If I Can....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crmlu/2009/crmlu090211.gif
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Hmmmm.... I just noticed that if you divide the 2009 FDA budget by the
population of the US, you get $6.25.... exactly enough to buy every American a
bulk pack of Keebler's Cheese and Peanut Butter Crackers.
Coincidence? I think not!
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I Think I'll Wait....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/sc/2009/sc090209.gif
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"President Obama, getting very tough now, has imposed a $500,000 salary cap for
executives getting federal bailout money. And, listen to this: Now on weekends,
they can only play miniature golf. No more 18 holes."
- Jay Leno
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Merrill Lynch lost $27 billion last year.
But still, 696 employees received $1 million or more in bonuses, with the top
four recipients receiving a total of $121 million.
And they expect us to understand.... just what exactly?
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/12/business/12merrill.html
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...What You Deserve!
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tmdow/2009/tmdow090210.gif
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What's good for the goose....
---------------
Lawmakers' Goal to Cap Executive Pay Meets Resistance
http://tinyurl.com/dkunbj
. . Excessive executive compensation has received increasing scrutiny as the
pay gap between executives and average workers widened in recent years. Public
outrage has reached a boiling point with news that billions of dollars in
bonuses were paid to Wall Street employees last year even as the banks took
billions in taxpayer bailout money.
The provisions in the Senate bill were part of a flurry of efforts by
legislators to curb executive pay. While similar proposals remain in Congress,
their elimination from the stimulus package highlights the difficulty of
passing such measures. ...
---------------
...ain't necessarily good for the gander.
---------------
Out of Work and Challenged on Benefits, Too
http://tinyurl.com/blchk3
It's hard enough to lose a job. But for a growing proportion of U.S. workers,
the troubles really set in when they apply for unemployment benefits
More than a quarter of people applying for such claims have their rights to the
benefit challenged as employers increasingly act to block payouts to former
workers. ...
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Personally?
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/wpswi/2009/wpswi090210.gif
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Cutting taxes only helps people that have an income....
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Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner has pledged U.S. financing for programs
creating a Public-Private investment fund, with an initial capacity of $500
billion, to provide financing for private investors to buy distressed
securities, spurring new lending and addressing banks' toxic assets.
Economists have dubbed Geithner's programs the Bad Assets Relief Fund, or BARF
for short.
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How's This?
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/wpswi/2009/wpswi090212.gif
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The One Jaw Dropping Video that Every Fool Must See
http://tinyurl.com/cbltdu
Fools who read my blogs regularly know I have been fascinated by what may have
been included within the dire warnings issued to members of Congress by Paulson
and Bernanke behind closed doors on Thursday, September 18, 2008. As the
debates lingered on over the week that followed, several members voiced their
sense of shock over the severity of the warnings, while refusing to divulge the
details to a public that deserves to know. Representative Sherman later
revealed that members were warned that Martial Law would result if the $700
bailout plan was not passed...
Rep. Paul E. Kanjorski [D-PA]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pD8viQ_DhS4
. . "I was there when the secretary and the chairman of the Federal Reserve
came those days and talked to members of Congress about what was going on...
Here's the facts. We don't even talk about these things.
On Thursday, at about 11 o'clock in the morning, the Federal Reserve noticed a
tremendous drawdown of money market accounts in the United States to a tune of
$550 billion being drawn out in a matter of an hour or two.
The Treasury opened up its window to help. They pumped $105 billion into the
system and quickly realized that they could not stem the tide. We were having
an electronic run on the banks.
They decided to close the operation, close down the money accounts, and
announce a guarantee of $250,000 per account so there wouldn't be further panic
and there. And that's what actually happened.
If they had not done that their estimation was that by two o'clock that
afternoon, $5.5 trillion would have been drawn out of the money market system
of the United States, would have collapsed the entire economy of the United
States, and within 24 hours the world economy would have collapsed
Now we talked at that time about what would have happened if that happened. It
would have been the end of our economic system and our political system as we
know it. ..."
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Any Crooked Stuff?
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/jd/2009/jd090212.gif
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If something is "too big to fail" -- so big that its collapse can harm the
country -- it is too big to exist. Once we get out of this, these companies
have to be broken up into smaller firms we CAN allow to fail.
You are either a Bank, a Broker, or an Insurance firm.... no more financial
supermarkets.
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A Present For You....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/wpnan/2009/wpnan090212.gif
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"If the American people ever allow the banks to control the issuance of their
currency... the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will
deprive the people of all property, until their children wake up homeless on
the continent their fathers conquered."
- Thomas Jefferson
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Award Ceremony
http://cagle.com/working/090210/holbert.gif
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"I do miss the days when we'd sanctimoniously lecture Japan and other countries
about how horrible they were for propping up their failing financial
institutions. We'd never do anything that stupid!"
- Atrios, eschatonblog.com
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Oh, No!!!
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tmdsu/2009/tmdsu090206.gif
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Blagojevich: Illinois Officials Are Drunks, Adulterers
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29156166
Ousted Gov. Rod Blagojevich is lashing out at the Illinois lawmakers who
removed him from office, calling them drunkards and adulterers who don't know
how to do their jobs.
Blagojevich's former colleagues and close associates are laughing off the
latest comments as those of a desperate man -- but he could make people nervous
if he starts naming names as federal prosecutors prepare to indict him on
corruption charges. ...
"I've got my crayons ready, I'm ready to write it. I'd like to tell those
stories," Blagojevich said during a Wednesday interview on WLS Radio's "The Don
and Roma Morning Show."
Blagojevich said he wants to point out "the phoniness and hypocrisy" of the
politicians who run state government.
"A bunch of them are cheating on their spouses, a lot of them drink in excess,
very few of them know what's going on, they just take their marching orders
from legislative leaders," Blagojevich said. ...
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John McCain has announced he will campaign for reelection in Arizona.... Sarah
Palin is reportedly thrilled at the chance to be elected Vice-Senator.
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"Wednesday, Feb. 11 is Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's 45th birthday. The
Russians, who she can see from her house, held up a great big 'Happy Birthday
Loser' sign."
- Jerry Perisho
*******************
Yeah, What He Said!
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/cwjmo/2009/cwjmo090211.gif
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