The Best of Late Night... "And the idea of nationalizing banks is becoming more popular with some lawmakers and economists. They say they're leaning towards the Swedish model for banks. You know, I've got a better idea. How about opening banks with all Swedish models." --Jay Leno
"Hillary Clinton is on her first world trip around the world as secretary of state. She's on tour in Asia. Hillary's in Asia. Bill's in heaven." --David Letterman "The New York Times is reporting that, in his last days in office, Vice President Dick Cheney repeatedly went to President Bush to try to get him to pardon Scooter Libby, and he was furious that Bush wouldn't do it. They say Cheney is now bitter. Yeah, as opposed to the happy go lucky zippity-do-dah Cheney." --Jay Leno "Good news and bad news for Sarah Palin. The bad news is that the IRS says she owes thousands of dollars in back taxes. The good news is that she now qualifies to be in Obama's Cabinet." --Craig Ferguson "And one of the hardest hit businesses in this failing economy is plastic surgery. Fewer and fewer people are getting plastic surgery. How ironic is that? The one time you really need a smile on your face, you can't even afford to get it." --Jay Leno "A lot of individual states are having budget problems right now. California in particular is a mess. Governor Schwarzenegger can't get fellow Republicans to vote for his compromise plan because it includes a big tax increase. And he's already done everything he can possibly do to convince them. He told them he'll 'be back,' he said, 'Hasta la vista, baby.' He even threatened to terminate them, several times, to no avail." --Jimmy Kimmel "I tell you, the economy's in bad shape. It is in such bad shape that today, three stockbrokers tried to kill themselves by eating peanuts." --Jay Leno "Everybody has got Fashion Week fever in New York City, where they had a big 50th anniversary tribute to Barbie. Can you believe that Barbie has been around 50 years? During that time, they have had Preppie Barbie, Wedding Barbie, and Republican Running Mate Barbie." --David Letterman "A new poll of historians just came out. And the poll has named former President George W. Bush one of the ten worst presidents of all time. But on the bright side, Bush was selected second best president named George Bush." --Conan O'Brien "Happy Presidents' Day, everybody. As you know, the banks were all closed today. I understand a few are expected to open tomorrow." --Jay Leno ============== George Washington, whose birthday is February 22nd... <[email protected]> Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company. - George Washington Be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. - George Washington Our cause is noble; it is the cause of mankind! - George Washington It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one. - George Washington To be prepared for War is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace. - George Washington True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation. - George Washington I hope I shall always possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an "Honest Man." - George Washington Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire, called conscience. - George Washington It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a Free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even of his personal services to the defense of it. - George Washington Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force; like fire, a troublesome servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action. - George Washington The time is near at hand which must determine whether Americans are to be free men or slaves. - George Washington How soon we forget history. - George Washington If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter. - George Washington Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth. - George Washington --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "WebTV Dawgs/Dittos" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/WebTV-Pals -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
