New Rule: You Can't Complain About Health Care Reform If You're Not Willing
to Reform Your Own Health
Bill Maher

New Rule: You can't complain about health care reform if you're not willing
to reform your own health. Unlike most liberals, I'm glad all those
teabaggers marched on Washington last week. Because judging from the photos,
it's the first exercise they've gotten in years. Not counting, of course,
all the Rascal scooters there, most of which aren't even for the disabled.
They're just Americans who turned 60 and said, "Screw it, I'm done walking."
These people are furious at the high cost of health care, so they blame
illegals, who don't even get health care. News flash, Glenn Beck fans: the
reason health care is so expensive is because you're all so unhealthy.

Yes, it was fun this week to watch the teabaggers complain how the media
underestimated the size of their march, "How can you say there were only
60,000 of us? We filled the entire mall!" Yes, because you're fat. One whale
fills the tank at Sea World, that doesn't make it a crowd.

President Obama has identified all the problems with the health care system,
but there's one tiny issue he refuses to tackle, and that's our actual
health.

And since Americans can only be prodded into doing something with money, we
need to tax crappy foods that make us sick like we do with cigarettes, and
alcohol -- and alcohol actually serves a useful function in society in that
it enables unattractive people to get laid, which is more than you can say
for Skittles.

I'm not saying tax all soda, but certainly any single serving of soda larger
than a baby is not unreasonable. If you don't know whether you burp it or it
burps you, that's too big. We need to make taking care of ourselves an issue
of patriotism. If you were someone who condemned Bush for not asking
Americans to sacrifice for the war on terror, the same must be said for
Obama and health care.

President Arugula is not gonna tell Americans they're fat and lazy. No sin
tax on food on Obama's watch. And at a time when it's important to set new
standards for personal responsibility, he appointed a surgeon general, who
is, I'm sorry, kind of fat. Certainly too heavy to be a surgeon general,
it's a role model thing. It would be like appointing a Secretary of the
Treasury who didn't pay his taxes. He did?

And get this: Surgeon General Benjamin had previously been a nutritional
advisor to Burger King. The only advice a "health expert" should give Burger
King is to stop selling food. The "nutritional advisor" job was described
as, "promoting balanced diets and active lifestyle choices" -- and who
better to do that than the folks who hand you meat and corn syrup through a
car window? When you have a surgeon general who comes from Burger King, it's
a message to lobbyists, and that message is, "Have it your way."

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