Rabid Dog Briefly Mistaken for Tea Party Candidate

Receives Standing Ovation at Missouri Rally

JEFFERSON CITY, MO (The Borowitz Report) - A rabid Doberman Pinscher jumped on 
stage at a Tea Party rally in Missouri on Labor Day and barked at the crowd for 
nearly twenty minutes before people realized he was not a candidate.

The dog, later identified by its owner as "Mister Buster," held the crowd 
spellbound as he barked, growled, and frothed at the mouth, eventually 
receiving a standing ovation for his exertions.

Gwendolene Thomason, 42, a Tea Party supporter from Jefferson City, was one of 
the hundreds on hand who were convinced that the Doberman was a Tea Party 
candidate until he was outed as a dog.

"I liked what he had to say," she said.  "He reminded me of Glenn Beck, only 
furrier."

The Doberman’s canine identity finally became clear when he lunged at a man in 
the front row and wrested a hamburger from his right hand, taking two of the 
man's fingers with it.

While the discovery that Mister Buster was not a Tea Party candidate 
disappointed many in attendance, Ms. Thomason held out hope that, dog or no, he 
might consider running for office at some point.

"I liked the way he bit off that guy's hand, and the way he did his business in 
the middle of the stage," she said.  "We need more of that in Washington."

Elsewhere, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer named Wednesday a state holiday "to give 
me more time to think of what to say."

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