Three Things to Do When Clarence Thomas’s Wife Calls You

Be Prepared for Ginni

Like many Americans, over the past several years I have been the recipient of 
multiple unwelcome voicemails from the wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence 
Thomas.  These calls have come in the middle of the night, at the crack of 
dawn, even at the dinner hour favored by telemarketers.  Regardless of the time 
of day, all of these voicemails have one thing in common: she always sounds 
like she’s drunk-dialing me, except she appears to be completely sober.

I know what you’re saying: “It’ll never happen to me.  Virginia Thomas doesn’t 
even have my phone number!”  Well, that’s what I thought, and several years of 
trauma counseling later, I’ve come to realize (the hard way) what a fool’s 
paradise I was living in.  Consider this: according to a recent study, the odds 
of Virginia Thomas leaving a threatening voicemail for you are higher than 
those of Christine O’Donnell correctly identifying the First Amendment. With 
those grim statistics in mind, here are three simple steps you can take if and 
when Mrs. Clarence Thomas calls.  
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

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