December 7, 2010

In Latest Compromise with GOP, Obama Agrees He is a Muslim

Place of Birth ‘Negotiable,’ President Says

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In his latest effort to find common ground 
with Republicans in Congress, President Barack Obama said today that he was 
willing to agree that he is a Muslim.

Differences over his religious orientation have been a sore point between the 
President and his Republican foes for the past two years, but in agreeing that 
he is a Muslim Mr. Obama is sending a clear signal that he is trying to find 
consensus.

“The American people do not want to see us fighting in Washington,” Mr. Obama 
told reporters at the White House.  “They want to see us working together to 
improve their lives, and Allah willing, we will.”

But Mr. Obama’s willing to back down on his claim of being a Christian does not 
seem to have satisfied his Republican opposition, as GOP leader John Boehner 
(R-Ohio) today insisted that the President must also agree that he was born in 
Kenya.

While Mr. Obama did not immediately agree to Rep. Bohener’s demand, he hinted 
that yet another compromise might be in the offing: “My place of birth has 
been, and will always be, negotiable.”

White House sources indicated today that the President might be willing to meet 
the GOP halfway on his birthplace and say that he was born in the middle of the 
Atlantic Ocean.

Elsewhere, moments after his capture in London, WikiLeaks founder Julian 
Assange said, “I knew I shouldn’t have signed up for Foursquare.”

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