February 15, 2011

Ahmadinejad Promises Democratic Reforms in Egypt

Urges Protesters to Visit Democracy in Nearby Country

TEHRAN (The Borowitz Report) – In a dramatic address to pro-democracy 
protesters in Tehran, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad promised the people 
of Iran that there would soon be democratic reforms in Egypt.

“Your call for democratic freedoms has been heard loud and clear,” President 
Ahmadinejad told the protesters.  “And soon, they will be instituted in Egypt, 
where you can visit them.”

He said that every Iranian who thirsts for democracy “should rejoice at it 
blossoming such a short plane ride away.”

In an effort to cater to the social-media habits of Iran’s youth, Mr. 
Ahmadinejad said that the Iranian government would soon establish a Facebook 
page for democracy and permit the protesters to click on “Like.”

The Iranian president said that democracy in nearby Egypt plus a 
democracy-themed Facebook page show that the Iranian government is “bending 
over backwards” to listen to its people.

“I know that you want democracy,” he told the crowd.  “But for the time being, 
you’ll just have to settle for hypocrisy.”

Elsewhere, democracy continued to sweep every Middle Eastern country that 
George W. Bush did not invade.

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