April 27, 2011

Obama Reveals Unsuccessful Run for President of Kenya

Disqualified by U.S. Birth Certificate

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In a stunning announcement that took even 
political insiders by surprise, President Barack Obama revealed today that he 
ran for President of Kenya in 2005 but was disqualified when a birth 
certificate surfaced showing he was born in the United States.

At a press conference at the White House, Mr. Obama spoke for the first time 
about his little-known unsuccessful foray into Kenyan politics: “Like every 
American boy or girl, I grew up with the dream of someday becoming President of 
Kenya.”

But soon after he entered the race, political opponents began spreading rumors 
that he was not “a real Kenyan,” the President said, and foiled his bid by 
disseminating copies of his authentic American birth certificate.

“I guess I didn’t look into the rules closely enough before I ran,” the 
President admitted.  “I got caught up in the excitement of being President of 
Kenya and I guess I just got carried away.”

Lisimba Ogongo, a Nairobi talk radio host who spearheaded the effort to unearth 
Mr. Obama’s U.S. birth certificate, confirmed Mr. Obama’s version of events 
today.

“I felt strongly that the people of Kenya deserved the truth,” Mr. Ogongo 
said.  “We were not about to elect a President of Kenya who was really a secret 
Hawaiian.”

Elsewhere, Donald Trump found himself under renewed pressure to produce all of 
his authentic marriage certificates, believed to number in the thousands.
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