Last night I went to a concert of Leonard Bernstein's Broadway musicals, and one of the songs was called Pass That Football. I had never heard it before, but it was/is hilarious. Music by Leonard Bernstein, lyrics by Betty Comden and Adolph Green. It is is from Wonderful Town, but I have no idea what the context is. They described the show briefly, but none of the description had anything to do with a jock graduating from college. The show was written in the 1950's and set in the 1930's. Some things never change. The folks that wrote this were amazingly prescient. Apparently the video is very hard to come by, the live version even more rare. I did manage to find the lyrics though:
LOOK AT ME NOW, FOUR YEARS OF COLLEGE, FAMOUS PROFESSORS TUTORING ME; SCHOLARSHIP KID, EVERYTHING PAID FOR, FOOD AND VACATIONS, ALL OF IT FREE. DAY THAT I LEFT, EVERYONE GATHERED, THEIR CHEERING STILL RINGS IN MY EARS . . . RAY WRECK RAH! RAH WRECK RAY! RAH WRECK! WRECK RAH! RAH WRECK WRECK! W-E-C, R-E-K, R-E-Q, WRECK, WE LOVE YOU! 'CAUSE I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL LIKE NOTHIN' YOU HAVE EVER SEEN! COULDN'T SPELL A LICK, COULDN'T DO ARITHMETIC; ONE AND ONE MADE THREE, THOUGHT THAT DOG WAS C-A-T, BUT I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL LIKE NOTHIN' YOU HAVE EVER SEEN. COULDN'T WRITE MY NAME, COULDN'T TRANSLATE "JE VOUS AIME", NEVER LEARNED TO READ MOTHER GOOSE OR ANDRÉ GIDE, BUT I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL LIKE NOTHIN' YOU HAVE EVER SEEN. COULDN'T FIGURE RIDDLES, PUZZLES MADE ME POUT: WHERE THE HELL WAS MOSES WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? I COULDN'T EVEN TELL RED FROM GREEN, GET THOSE VERBS THROUGH MY BEAN, BUT I WAS BUDDIES WITH THE DEAN LIKE NOTHIN' YOU HAVE EVER SEEN. PASSED WITHOUT A FUSS ENGLISH LIT AND CALCULUS. NEVER HAD TO CRAM, EVEN PASSED THE BAR EXAM, BECAUSE I PASSED THAT FOOTBALL LIKE NOTHIN' YOU HAVE EVER SEEN. COULDN'T DANCE FOR BEANS, MASHED MY GIRLS TO SMITHEREENS. SOMETIMES BLOOD WAS SPILLED, STILL MY CARD WAS ALWAYS FILLED, 'CAUSE I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL LIKE NOTHIN' YOU HAVE EVER SEEN. THEN THERE WAS THE WEEK ALBERT EINSTEIN CAME TO SPEAK: RELATIVITY! GUESS WHO INTRODUCED HIM? ME! 'CAUSE I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL LIKE NOTHIN' YOU HAVE EVER SEEN. HAD NO TABLE MANNERS, USED TA DUNK MY ROLL, ALWAYS DRUNK THE WATER FROM THE FINGERBOWL. THOUGH I WOULD NOT GET UP FOR ANY SHE, THE PREXY'S MOM -- AGE NINETY-THREE -- GOT UP AND GAVE HER SEAT TO ME, LIKE NOTHIN' YOU DID EVER SEE. IN OUR HALL OF FAME, THERE'S A STATUE WITH MY NAME. THERE WE STAND, BY HECK, LINCOLN, WASHINGTON AND WRECK. 'CAUSE I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL LIKE NOTHIN' YOU HAVE EVER SEEN! ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> Great things are happening at Yahoo! Groups. See the new email design. http://us.click.yahoo.com/do.u8A/hOaOAA/Zx0JAA/vzIolB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/weingartenchatters/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
