no I just meant that it's sad that your parents weren't speaking, but for all I know it may be common. It just gets awkward at family occasions like graduations and weddings and things. Hard enough with divorced parents but if they aren't speaking I can imagine it would be really challenging to try to coordinate plans.
--- In [email protected], "Daria Akers" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > Humm I don't see it that way. It could have been a lot worse. Some of my > friends saw their dads 1 weekend out of the month and 2 weeks for the > summer. That was sad. > Don't get me wrong I would have LOVED to have a positive example of what a > loving supportive marriage is supposed to be but sometimes knowing what you > DON'T want is as importnant as knowing what you do. > Take Care, > Daria > > > On 8/22/06, Ellen <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > > ah, got it. that's sad, still. > > > > > > --- In [email protected]<weingartenchatters% 40yahoogroups.com>, > > "Daria Akers" > > <daria.akers@> wrote: > > > > > > Yes.. they avoided speaking. The arraignments were dictated by the > > court > > > (Mon, Wed, Friday and Sat till 8pm with Dad the rest with mom). Dad > > would > > > beep his horn and I would leave. The fighting continued practically > > till mom > > > died but the coffee cup was before the divorce (It is family > > lore... I > > > didn't see it). > > > It sounds so much worse than it really was.... I think kids who > > lose a > > > parent due to divorce are worse off than I was. I was lucky to have > > two > > > parents who loved me. > > > Take Care, > > > Daria > > > > > > On 8/22/06, Ellen <ellengoodman6@> wrote: > > > > > > > > they divorced when you were 5 and THEN they stopped speaking? > > Well I > > > > guess that makes more sense than not speaking while you're still > > > > married, but still--you would think it you were divorced there > > would > > > > be enough separation that you could speak just to make > > arrangements > > > > for the kids, etc. Was the fighting and the coffee cup fights > > before > > > > or after the divorce? > > > > > > > > > > > > --- In [email protected]<weingartenchatters% 40yahoogroups.com> > > <weingartenchatters% > > > > 40yahoogroups.com>, > > > > "Daria Akers" > > > > <daria.akers@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > By 7th grade my parents were divorced (They divorced when I was > > > > 5)... It was > > > > > better when they weren't actually speaking. It meant that they > > > > weren't > > > > > fighting. Or chucking things at each other... My mom once threw > > a > > > > coffee cup > > > > > at my dad and broke the lamp on the end table AT THE OTHER END > > OF > > > > THE COUCH. > > > > > It was a messing divorce and custody disputes continues > > practically > > > > till mom > > > > > died. > > > > > I know I've had a lot of bad things happen in my life but I've > > had > > > > some > > > > > GREAT moments. My mom was a hoot and she really touched a lot of > > > > people's > > > > > lives. My dad was an ass for a really long time but has sort of > > > > come around. > > > > > It doesn't help that he has Asperger's so his social skills suck > > > > and he is > > > > > clueless when he is hurting people. But he would drop anything > > and > > > > come help > > > > > me if I needed it (I would call him when getting the in > > ambulance > > > > to the > > > > > hospital with Cassie and he would be on the road up from > > Hampton in > > > > 5 > > > > > minutes). > > > > > You hit the nail on the head.... If I don't laugh I would be > > crying > > > > and that > > > > > just isn't as fun. The time we have is short...I want to live it > > > > the best > > > > > that I can. > > > > > Take Care, > > > > > Daria > > > > > > > > > > On 8/22/06, Ellen <ellengoodman6@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > oh you poor thing! Your parents stopped speaking (got divorced > > > > > > eventually I'm guessing?) then your mom committed suicide > > when she > > > > > > got ovarian cancer, then you lost a child? Wow that's > > horrible. > > > > It's > > > > > > amazing you've found the strength to get through all that and > > > > keep a > > > > > > sense of humor too. Or maybe you have to. I really admire your > > > > > > courage. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- In [email protected]<weingartenchatters% 40yahoogroups.com> > > <weingartenchatters% > > 40yahoogroups.com> > > > > <weingartenchatters% > > > > 40yahoogroups.com>, > > > > > > "Daria Akers" > > > > > > <daria.akers@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Yeah my mom and dad weren't talking by that point and they > > had > > > > run > > > > > > out of > > > > > > > money so private school wasn't an option any more so she > > just > > > > > > taught me the > > > > > > > slang and sent me back the next day. > > > > > > > :) > > > > > > > Daria > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On 8/22/06, dvm8375 <muellerdana@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I also switched to public school in the 7th grade, and > > when I > > > > > > came > > > > > > > > home on the first day and asked my mom, "what's a blow > > job?," > > > > she > > > > > > > > turned to my dad and screamed, "I told you we should keep > > > > them in > > > > > > > > private school!!" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- In > > [email protected] <weingartenchatters% 40yahoogroups.com> > > <weingartenchatters% > > 40yahoogroups.com> > > > > <weingartenchatters% > > > > 40yahoogroups.com> > > > > > > <weingartenchatters% > > > > > > > > > > > > 40yahoogroups.com>, > > > > > > > > "Daria Akers" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > <daria.akers@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I vividly remember my mom turning to me and my boyfriend > > > > while > > > > > > we > > > > > > > > were > > > > > > > > > sitting on the couch watching TV and mom said "Use one > > of > > > > these > > > > > > > > (she make > > > > > > > > > the ok sign) and it ain't a quarter". I thought I was > > going > > > > to > > > > > > > > DIE. She > > > > > > > > > didn't teach me enough but I remember she had to sit me > > down > > > > > > after > > > > > > > > I came > > > > > > > > > home from my first week in public school crying and > > explain > > > > all > > > > > > of > > > > > > > > the > > > > > > > > > sexual slang. I was in 7th grade. It's so odd when your > > mom > > > > > > knows > > > > > > > > what a > > > > > > > > > pearl necklace is and you don't. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On 8/18/06, Hannah Robinson <hjrobinson@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Actually, to be fair to my mom, that line requires a > > > > smoother > > > > > > > > delivery > > > > > > > > > > than can be expressed in e-mail. It's more of > > a, "Please > > > > don't > > > > > > > > make me a > > > > > > > > > > grandmother" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Of course, the irony being that she's now in her > > fifties > > > > and > > > > > > > > she's whining > > > > > > > > > > because she has four grown kids and no grandchildren. > > > > Clearly > > > > > > > > revenge is a > > > > > > > > > > dish best served really really late. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On 8/18/06, Ellen <ellengoodman6@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Well maybe NO sex talk is better than that. My > > parents > > > > > > > > didn't tell > > > > > > > > > > > me not to have sex, they didn't tell me to be > > careful, > > > > they > > > > > > > > didn't > > > > > > > > > > > tell me not to get pregnant, they didn't tell me to > > tell > > > > > > them > > > > > > > > if I > > > > > > > > > > > did, how to prevent it, NOTHING. It was as though > > the > > > > > > concept > > > > > > > > didn't > > > > > > > > > > > exist. Made me wonder whether it in fact did for > > them, > > > > then > > > > > > I > > > > > > > > > > > remembered that my brother and I somehow managed to > > > > make it > > > > > > on > > > > > > > > to the > > > > > > > > > > > scene, so they must have been aware of the concept. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So how DO you make certain? Give them a miserable > > > > > > childhood? Or > > > > > > > > > > > will that make them more likely as they look for an > > > > escape > > > > > > > > from the > > > > > > > > > > > misery? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- In > > > > > > [email protected]<weingartenchatters% 40yahoogroups.com> > > <weingartenchatters% > > 40yahoogroups.com><weingartenchatters% > > > > 40yahoogroups.com> > > > > > > <weingartenchatters% > > > > > > 40yahoogroups.com> > > > > > > > > <weingartenchatters% > > > > > > > > 40yahoogroups.com>, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "Hannah Robinson" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > <hjrobinson@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I believe that sex-ed in my family can be summed > > up as > > > > > > such: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "If you ever get pregnant, I'll kill you. Then > > I'll > > > > raise > > > > > > > > the baby > > > > > > > > > > > while > > > > > > > > > > > > you go to college." > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I had a pretty miserable adolescence (early and > > > > somewhat > > > > > > > > extreme > > > > > > > > > > > > development, parental divorce) at an all-girls > > > > school, and > > > > > > > > then > > > > > > > > > > > proceeded to > > > > > > > > > > > > go that bastion of Social Normativity, the > > University > > > > of > > > > > > > > Chicago, > > > > > > > > > > > so I know > > > > > > > > > > > > exactly how to make certain my kids will never > > have > > > > > > teenage > > > > > > > > sex. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On 8/18/06, Ellen <ellengoodman6@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > FWIW, my parents NEVER talked to me about sex. > > To > > > > this > > > > > > day. > > > > > > > > > > > I'm 39. > > > > > > > > > > > > > Therefore, I didn't talk to them about it > > either. > > > > There > > > > > > > > was no > > > > > > > > > > > one I > > > > > > > > > > > > > was interested in in high school, so it wasn't > > > > really an > > > > > > > > issue > > > > > > > > > > > until > > > > > > > > > > > > > college when I was no longer living in my > > parents' > > > > > > house, > > > > > > > > but > > > > > > > > > > > still. > > > > > > > > > > > > > I guess they figured we got whatever needed in > > sex > > > > ed > > > > > > > > class, the > > > > > > > > > > > last > > > > > > > > > > > > > of which I think was maybe 8th grade? Maybe if > > I did > > > > > > have a > > > > > > > > > > > > > boyfriend it would have come up, but my brother > > had > > > > a > > > > > > > > girlfriend, > > > > > > > > > > > I > > > > > > > > > > > > > think, and I still don't think it came up, at > > least > > > > not > > > > > > in > > > > > > > > my > > > > > > > > > > > > > presence and not that he told me about. I > > decided > > > > > > > > independently > > > > > > > > > > > that > > > > > > > > > > > > > I didn't want to do it just to say I had done > > it if > > > > I > > > > > > > > wasn't in a > > > > > > > > > > > > > relationship, and I really didn't like my high > > > > school > > > > > > > > classmates > > > > > > > > > > > > > much, so it wasn't an issue. Maybe my parents > > were > > > > more > > > > > > > > concerned > > > > > > > > > > > > > with my lack of friends than the possibility of > > > > having > > > > > > too- > > > > > > > > close > > > > > > > > > > > > > friends. Who knows? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- In > > > > > > > > [email protected]<weingartenchatters% 40yahoogroups.com> > > <weingartenchatters% > > 40yahoogroups.com> > > > > <weingartenchatters% > > > > 40yahoogroups.com><weingartenchatters% > > > > > > 40yahoogroups.com> > > > > > > > > <weingartenchatters% > > > > > > > > 40yahoogroups.com> > > > > > > > > > > > <weingartenchatters% > > > > > > > > > > > 40yahoogroups.com>, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "Daria Akers" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > <daria.akers@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I think that a huge part of having a daughter > > who > > > > > > > > respects > > > > > > > > > > > herself > > > > > > > > > > > > > and > > > > > > > > > > > > > > doesn't sleep around is having a father who > > is in > > > > her > > > > > > > > life and > > > > > > > > > > > > > loves her. My > > > > > > > > > > > > > > father's love was not unconditional and when I > > > > > > couldn't > > > > > > > > get it I > > > > > > > > > > > > > wanted that > > > > > > > > > > > > > > love and acceptance from any guy. The one > > thing I > > > > had > > > > > > > > that they > > > > > > > > > > > > > wanted was, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > well, we all know right. In the big picture I > > got > > > > > > > > lucky... I > > > > > > > > > > > didn't > > > > > > > > > > > > > get HIV, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I didn't get pregnant, I didn't get hepititus > > or > > > > > > general > > > > > > > > > > > herpies... > > > > > > > > > > > > > I did > > > > > > > > > > > > > > however get an STD and am HPV +. I have had > > > > > > cryosurgery > > > > > > > > to > > > > > > > > > > > remove > > > > > > > > > > > > > > precancerous cells from my cervix (Some places > > > > are not > > > > > > > > meant to > > > > > > > > > > > be > > > > > > > > > > > > > frozen!!) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > all because of bad decisions as a teenager. > > So I > > > > will > > > > > > > > talk with > > > > > > > > > > > my > > > > > > > > > > > > > daughter > > > > > > > > > > > > > > openly about this... I am NOT again premarital > > > > sex... > > > > > > I > > > > > > > > am > > > > > > > > > > > against > > > > > > > > > > > > > > unprotected sex. I'm also huge into getting > > > > yourself > > > > > > off > > > > > > > > but > > > > > > > > > > > that's > > > > > > > > > > > > > another > > > > > > > > > > > > > > story. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Also my church has an amzing sex ed program > > that > > > > my > > > > > > > > daughter > > > > > > > > > > > will > > > > > > > > > > > > > go to... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://www.uua.org/owl/ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Just my 2 cents. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Daria > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Yahoo! 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