wow. That's awesome! Must have really made an impression since you remember this many years later. Did you save it on your computer or something?
--- In [email protected], "areofilm" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > I counter with this Cat in the Hat review. > > By Manohla Dargis, LA Times Staff Writer > > Why oh why did they make it like that, > oh why did they ruin "The Cat in the Hat"? > > A sweet silly story with a girl and a boy, > the book was created for wordplay and joy. > > The artist behind it was a Geisel called Seuss, > a genius cartoonist and baby-boom Mother Goose. > > The movie takes place in a bright-colored town, > a twee little burg unblighted by frowns. > > The girl and the boy are quiet as slugs, > when along comes a Cat dressed up in a rug. > > The Cat is played by the comic Mike Myers, > a zany Canuck whom I tend to admire. > > Myers shambles in like the Cowardly Lion, > but Bert Lahr never stooped to a studio tie-in. > > Soon a tale of daydreaming tots, > becomes a fiasco riddled with rot. > > No one in Hollywood likes humor that's clean, > so the jokes in this film are lowdown and mean. > > When the Cat sees a mom who's hotter than Hades, > his hat swells up to the size of a Mercedes. > > A joke about poop is ever so limp, > and the gag with the hoe is fit for a pimp. > > It is fun to have fun with the MPAA, > but dirty is dirty and that's all that I'll say. > > Thing One and Thing Two are creepy and crude, > they look like the critters from Cronenberg's brood. > > When these Things run amok like a couple of ids, > there's simply no saving these home-alone kids. > > As their bodacious mom who's too hot for the room, > Kelly Preston radiates va-va-va-voom. > > Unlucky for her there's a guy named Quinn, > a bachelor type who really wants in. > > Quinn is played by the Baldwin called Alec, > an actor whose presence is decidedly phallic. > > Quinn eyeballs the mom with a notion to bed, > without him onboard the film would be dead. > > If directing bad movies were a sin to confess, > Bo Welch would say oops for making this mess. > > Critics are paid to suffer bad art, > no matter how icky it is from the start. > > "So all we could do was to > "Sit! > "Sit! > "Sit! > "Sit! > > "And we did not like it. > "Not one little bit." > > * * * > With apologies to Theodor Geisel. > > --- In [email protected], "Ellen" <ellengoodman6@> > wrote: > > > > > http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/12/07/AR2006120701945_pf.html > > or > > http://tinyurl.com/y7rc36 > > >
