Dear sis, Your course communicates alot in day to day working life; Keep the candle burning Gatre Patrick Joadah consults On 8/10/11, betty wuzu <[email protected]> wrote: > Dear all, > Sometimes we need something like below to burn out or laugh a bit. not just > work, work and work. > If you wont be amused, me i really was especially 2nd lesson... > > Betty > > A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her > shower, when the doorbell rings. > > The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. > > When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor > > Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' > > > After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in > front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. > > > The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. > > When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' > > 'It > was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies. > > 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?' > > > > Moral of the story: > > If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your > shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable > exposure. > > > > Lesson 2: > > > A priest offered a Nun a lift. > > She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. > > The priest nearly had an accident. > > After > controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. > > The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' > > The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up > her leg again. > The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' > > The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' > > Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily > and went on her way. > > On > his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It > said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.' > > Moral of the story: > If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great > opportunity. > > > > Lesson 3: > > A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch > when they find an antique oil lamp. > > They rub it and a Genie comes out. > The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' > 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , > driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' > Puff! She's gone. > > 'Me > next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing > on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina > Coladas and the love of my life.' > > Puff! He's gone. > > 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. > The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after > lunch.' > > > Moral of the story: > Always let your boss have the first say. > > Lesson 4 > > > An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. > > A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do > nothing?' > The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' > > So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a > sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. > > Moral of the story: > To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. > > > > Lesson 5 > > A turkey was chatting with a bull. > > 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that > tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' > 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. > They're packed with nutrients.' > > The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough > strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. > > The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. > > Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of > the tree. > > He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. > > > Moral of the story: > Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.. > > > > Lesson 6 > > > A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze > and fell to the ground into a large field. > > While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. > > As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize > how warm he was. > > The dung was actually thawing him out! > > He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. > A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. > > Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, > and promptly dug him out and ate him. > > > Morals of the story: > (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. > > (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your > friend. > > (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep > your mouth shut! ; > > > THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE > Send this toat leastfive bright, funnypeople you know and make their day! _______________________________________________ WestNileNet mailing list [email protected] http://orion.kym.net/mailman/listinfo/westnilenet
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