At Mercy Hospital ----------------- A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for coronary surgery. The operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed.
"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," the nun said while patting his hand. "We do have to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?" "No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely. "Can you pay in cash?" "I'm afraid I can't, Sister." "Do you have any close relatives, then?" "Just my sister in New Mexico, but she's a spinster nun.", said the man. "Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith," the nun replied. "They are married to God." The man said with a smile, "Okay, then bill my brother-in-law." On Fri, Jul 19, 2013 at 5:54 PM, <[email protected]>wrote: > This is good... No messing with grandmas (chuckles!!) > > > > -------- Original Message -------- > Subject: WestNileNet Digest, Vol 59, Issue 39 > From: [email protected] > Date: Fri, July 19, 2013 2:25 pm > To: [email protected] > > Send WestNileNet mailing list submissions to > [email protected] > > To subscribe or unsubscribe via the World Wide Web, visit > http://orion.kym.net/mailman/listinfo/westnilenet > or, via email, send a message with subject or body 'help' to > [email protected] > > You can reach the person managing the list at > [email protected] > > When replying, please edit your Subject line so it is more specific > than "Re: Contents of WestNileNet digest..." > > > Today's Topics: > > 1. Just for laughs - from a facebook friend (Maandera) > 2. Re: Just for laughs - from a facebook friend (samuel andema) > 3. Re: Just for laughs - from a facebook friend (G. Phillip Drametu) > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Message: 1 > Date: Sat, 20 Jul 2013 00:19:05 +0400 > From: Maandera <[email protected]> > To: A Virtual Network for friends of West Nile <[email protected]> > Subject: [WestNileNet] Just for laughs - from a facebook friend > Message-ID: > <CAMi0SwUUQGHfdHvHyyF09pBzjFX=3czf6zpysrcyiev21lg...@mail.gmail.com> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" > > Dear all. > > For the weekend > > ............. > > -Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't > prepared for the answer. > > In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first > witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and > asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know > you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've > been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you > manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're > a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to > anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.' > > The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the > room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' > > She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a > youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't > build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the > worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three > different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.' > > The defense attorney nearly died. > > The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet > voice, said, > > 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to > the electric chair.' > > ......... > Enjoy > > Maandera > -------------- next part -------------- > An HTML attachment was scrubbed... > URL: < > http://orion.kym.net/mailman/private/westnilenet/attachments/20130720/91986278/attachment-0001.html > > > > ------------------------------ > > Message: 2 > Date: Fri, 19 Jul 2013 21:59:43 +0100 (BST) > From: samuel andema <[email protected]> > To: A Virtual Network for friends of West Nile <[email protected]> > Subject: Re: [WestNileNet] Just for laughs - from a facebook friend > Message-ID: > <[email protected]> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" > > Hi Bona, > ? > I really loved the joke! The old lady is my hero. She is the only person > who can manage the learned fellow! > ? > Sam > > > ________________________________ > From: Maandera <[email protected]> > To: A Virtual Network for friends of West Nile <[email protected]> > Sent: Friday, 19 July 2013, 13:19 > Subject: [WestNileNet] Just for laughs - from a facebook friend > > > > Dear all. > > > For the weekend > > ............. > > > -Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't > prepared for the answer. > > In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first > witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He > approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, > 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a > boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you > cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind > their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to > realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper > pusher. Yes, I know you.' > > The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing > what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do > you know the defense attorney?' > > She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a > youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He > can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is > one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his > wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know > him.' > > The defense attorney nearly died. > > The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet > voice, said, > > 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to > the electric chair.' > > ......... > Enjoy > > Maandera > > _______________________________________________ > WestNileNet mailing list > [email protected] > http://orion.kym.net/mailman/listinfo/westnilenet > > WestNileNet is generously hosted by INFOCOM http://www.infocom.co.ug/ > > The above comments and data are owned by whoever posted them (including > attachments if any). The List's Host is not responsible for them in any way. > _______________________________________________ > -------------- next part -------------- > An HTML attachment was scrubbed... > URL: < > http://orion.kym.net/mailman/private/westnilenet/attachments/20130719/3c96bb55/attachment-0001.html> > ; > > ------------------------------ > > Message: 3 > Date: Fri, 19 Jul 2013 17:19:33 -0400 > From: "G. Phillip Drametu" <[email protected]> > To: samuel andema <[email protected]>, A Virtual Network for > friends of West Nile <[email protected]> > Subject: Re: [WestNileNet] Just for laughs - from a facebook friend > Message-ID: <[email protected]> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" > > The fellow must have been fresh to trade. The rules are; be prepared, > don't guess and don't ask a question if you do not know the answer to it. > > Sent from my iPhone > > On 2013-07-19, at 4:59 PM, samuel andema <[email protected]> wrote: > > > Hi Bona, > > > > I really loved the joke! The old lady is my hero. She is the only person > who can manage the learned fellow! > > > > Sam > > > > From: Maandera <[email protected]> > > To: A Virtual Network for friends of West Nile <[email protected]> > > Sent: Friday, 19 July 2013, 13:19 > > Subject: [WestNileNet] Just for laughs - from a facebook friend > > > > Dear all. > > > > For the weekend > > > > ............. > > > > -Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they > aren't prepared for the answer. > > > > In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first > witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and > asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know > you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've > been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you > manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're > a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to > anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.' > > > > The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across > the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' > > > > She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a > > youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He > can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one > of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife > with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.' > > > > The defense attorney nearly died. > > > > The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very > quiet voice, said, > > > > 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to > the electric chair.' > > > > ......... > > Enjoy > > > > Maandera > > > > _______________________________________________ > > WestNileNet mailing list > > [email protected] > > http://orion.kym.net/mailman/listinfo/westnilenet > > > > WestNileNet is generously hosted by INFOCOM http://www.infocom.co.ug/ > > > > The above comments and data are owned by whoever posted them (including > attachments if any). The List's Host is not responsible for them in any way. > > _______________________________________________ > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > > WestNileNet mailing list > > [email protected] > > http://orion.kym.net/mailman/listinfo/westnilenet > > > > WestNileNet is generously hosted by INFOCOM http://www.infocom.co.ug/ > > > > The above comments and data are owned by whoever posted them (including > attachments if any). The List's Host is not responsible for them in any way. > > _______________________________________________ > -------------- next part -------------- > An HTML attachment was scrubbed... > URL: < > http://orion.kym.net/mailman/private/westnilenet/attachments/20130719/fa869726/attachment.html > > > > ------------------------------ > > _______________________________________________ > WestNileNet mailing list > [email protected] > http://orion.kym.net/mailman/listinfo/westnilenet > > > End of WestNileNet Digest, Vol 59, Issue 39 > ******************************************* > > > _______________________________________________ > WestNileNet mailing list > [email protected] > http://orion.kym.net/mailman/listinfo/westnilenet > > WestNileNet is generously hosted by INFOCOM http://www.infocom.co.ug/ > > The above comments and data are owned by whoever posted them (including > attachments if any). The List's Host is not responsible for them in any way. > _______________________________________________ > > -- “forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil 3:13f).
_______________________________________________ WestNileNet mailing list [email protected] http://orion.kym.net/mailman/listinfo/westnilenet WestNileNet is generously hosted by INFOCOM http://www.infocom.co.ug/ The above comments and data are owned by whoever posted them (including attachments if any). The List's Host is not responsible for them in any way. _______________________________________________
