Summary: MediaWiki template syntax is ugly, clumsy inefficient
                    and widely abused
           Product: MediaWiki
           Version: unspecified
          Platform: All
        OS/Version: All
            Status: NEW
          Severity: normal
          Priority: Normal
         Component: Templates

I know this isn't really anything directly actionable by a developer, but I
feel the need for it to be represented here on Bugzilla regardlesss.

Things like this, especially:

which seem to take as much time to process on an eight-core top of the range
server machine as a sane implementation of the same logic would take on an
early 80s home computer, make me feel physically ill. I can't help but think if
something isn't done soon the programming gods will kill the first-born of
everyone involved with the project or something.

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