The Terrehaven, New Hampshire contingent of the international Wikimedia
projects' editors' community is happy to announce the appointment of
George S. Bauer, Jr. as chief day shift manager at a major fast food outlet
less than four kilometers from his parents' home, the identity of which is
being withheld to protect Bauer's interests in editing early 1930s and
baseball card frequency statistics in several English Wikipedia articles
which Bauer hopes may some day include citations to reliable sources.

"I tell you, last week there was nobody replying to my requests for the
Cincinnati Rhino's back bench. Something's gotta give," the 17 year-old
white male was heard to exclaim while walking with a close confidant down
his neighborhood's suburban middle class streets, en route to the home of
his median wage-earning white middle class parents forced by economic
circumstance to the brink of any semblance of stability.

At press time calls to the nominating committee have not been returned.
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