I just got back last night from the gulf affected areas after helping crews establish Internet and phone service for use by evacuees and assistance staff. It looks like a thermo-nuclear device detonated on the gulf coast. Bay of St. Louis (across from Gulf port) is nothing but a landfill with bull-dozed paths through the debris to clear roadways. I cried, everyone cried, it was life altering. On television it is awful but you can go to the other room when you are watching on television. When you are there you cannot get away from it. I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack when I first got to Bay of St. Louis. You cannot smell or feel the sense of what it is like there unless you are actually there. I took pictures but wondered why. It was almost a sick feeling to photograph such devastation.

I came home last night and I still feel a little shell shocked. I am not right. I am definitely more right in the head than those who lived through the experience and those who have been there since day one. I don't know how people who are helping can last as long as they are. There are people there who have been helping non-stop for 2 weeks. I cannot imagine it. I spent four days helping and thought I was going to fall apart mentally and physically. I am not as strong as I thought I was. At least I did some good there. I am glad I went even though I will never be completely the same person ever again.
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