You could subtitle this: WSJ Godwins Leno ...
On Jan 26, 10:25 am, "Kevin G. Barkes" <[email protected]> wrote: > The Wall Street Journal > > By JOE QUEENAN > > Cultural historians are desperately seeking a precedent to the Jay > Leno-Conan O'Brien fiasco. They are looking in the wrong places. True, Pat > Sajak, Chevy Chase and Joan Rivers all got axed from late-night talk shows > after shockingly brief stints at the helm, but none of them got $32.5 > million to take a hike. And none of them got replaced by the person they had > replaced. And none of them pouted about getting canned for general > incompetence while millions of their countrymen-who had not actually failed > at their jobs-were unable to find work. > > No, the most appropriate parallel to the debacle that has humiliated NBC > took place in central Europe in the late 1930s. It happened at Munich. > > Jay Leno, much like Adolf Hitler, is a master of making secret demands for > foreign territory and then acting like the wronged party. First he pretended > that he wanted to annex only the first half-hour of Mr. O'Brien's "Tonight > Show." Here he was mimicking Hitler, who insisted that he merely wanted to > annex the German-speaking Sudetenland, not all of Czechoslovakia. > > Then, adopting the craven British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain as a > role model, NBC stabbed Mr. O'Brien in the back by agreeing to let Mr. Leno > reoccupy the first segment of his old "Tonight Show" slot. NBC's defense was > that Mr. O'Brien had dismal ratings, and the show was a bit of a mess. But > the same can be said about Czechoslovakia, a hodgepodge cobbled together > after the First World War that never really got its act together. > > Returning from Munich, Chamberlain joyously waved a piece of paper in the > air and proclaimed that the accord with Hitler guaranteed peace in our time. > Returning to Burbank, NBC officials expected the same result from its deal > with Messrs. Leno and O'Brien. > > Here's where the parallels become even more eerie. In acquiescing to Mr. > Leno's sotto voce demands to annex one-half of "The Tonight Show," NBC > thought it could put the whole ugly controversy to rest. Wrong. Interpreting > generosity as weakness, Mr. Leno began to maneuver for complete control of > "The Tonight Show." Here he was again taking his cue from der Fuhrer, > manipulating his outgunned adversary into a position so humiliating he > literally had no choice but to surrender. Just as Edward Bene¹, president of > Czechoslovakia, was forced to abandon ship once he had been betrayed by his > erstwhile allies, Mr. O'Brien was forced to abdicate and cede his entire > one-hour program to the man he had replaced. He did get a significantly > bigger going-away present than Bene¹, however. > > Today, NBC-much like Chamberlain-is daft enough to believe that Mr. Leno's > demands will now cease. If history is any guide, this is unlikely. After > pocketing Czechoslovakia, Hitler immediately took dead aim at Poland. Using > the same game plan, Mr. Leno will soon go after Jimmy Fallon, who follows > "The Tonight Show," quite possibly demanding that NBC expand "Tonight" to > its original 90-minute length. > > Just as Hitler sought to return Germany to its prewar stature by acquiring > Austria and the Sudetenland, Mr. Leno will seek to restore "The Tonight > Show" to the mythical stature it enjoyed under his predecessor. Hitler > wanted to be thought of as the second coming of Frederick Barbarossa. Mr. > Leno wants to be thought of as the second coming of Johnny Carson. Joey > Bishop might be more appropriate. > > And just as Hitler made his annexation of Austria appear to be the > Austrians' idea, Mr. Leno will need Mr. Fallon to invite him to assume > command of the show. Perhaps NBC can offer him the same $32.5 million Mr. > O'Brien got, and an extra $10 million not to kick up a fuss. At this point, > who's counting? > > Some may say that drawing comparisons between Jay Leno and Adolf Hitler is > unfair. These people have obviously not been paying attention to the > horrible things Messrs. O'Brien and Leno have been saying about each other > the past two weeks. It's enough to make Josef Stalin blush. No, the more you > look at it, the more disturbing the parallels between today's Los Angeles > and yesterday's Munich seem. > > NBC probably believes that once Mr. Leno controls both late-night television > and late-late night television, his dreams of global conquest will be sated. > Well, everyone knows what happened in the Danzig Corridor in 1939. > > So if you're anchoring the 11 p.m. news program that precedes "The Tonight > Show," don't get too comfortable. The blitzkrieg is right around the corner. > And you're Poland. > > Mr. Queenan, a satirist, is the author, most recently, of the memoir > "Closing Time" (Viking, 2009). > > Regards, > > KGB > > ----- > Kevin G. Barkes > Email: [email protected] > KGB Report:http://www.kgbreport.com > Commentwear by KGB:http://www.commentwear.com > National Temperature Index:http://nationaltemperatureindex.com > DCL Dialogue on line:http://www.dcldialogue.com > Random Quotations Generator:http://www.goodquotations.com > Over 13,000 searchable quotations. -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "World News Now Discussion List" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected]. To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected]. For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/wnndl?hl=en.
