Anderson Cooper's tight-fitting black sweater won a Stephen Colbert ``Medal of Fear'' at the big rally today. As the award narrative explained, whenever you see Anderson Cooper in his tight-fitting black sweater narrating from your front yard, you know some major catastrophe happened in your area.

Also awarded a ``Feary'' was every news organization which prohibited its employees from attending the rally; the award was accepted in absentia by a seven-year-old un-afraid girl.

        Also, the Washington Metro desperately needs escalator repair services.

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