> > Brain Cramps
> >
> > Question: If you could live forever, would you and
> > why?
> > Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should
> > not live forever, because if we were supposed to
> > live forever, then we would live forever, but we
> > cannot live forever, which is why I would not live
> > forever,"
> >
> > --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA Contest.
> >
> > ``````````````````````````````````
> > "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving
> > kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I
> > mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with
> > all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
> >
> >
> > ````````````
> > "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a
> > very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields,
> > during an interview to become Spokesperson for
> > federal anti-smoking campaign.
> >
> > `````````````````````````````````````````````````
> > "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part
> > of my body,"--Winston Bennett, University of
> > Kentucky basketball forward.
> >
> > `````````````````````````````````````````````
> >
> > "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
> > lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion
> > Barry, Washington, DC.
> >
> > `````````````````````````````
> >
> > "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
> > our papers. We are the president." --Hillary
> > Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed
> > documents.
> >
> > ````````````````````````````````````````````````````
> >
> >
> > "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to
> > death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
> > --A congressional candidate in Texas.
> >
> > ````````````````````````````
> >
> > "Half this game is ninety percent mental."
> > --Philadelphia Phil lies manager, Danny Ozark
> > ``````````````````````````````````
> >
> > "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.
> > It's the impurities in our air and water that are
> > doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President (DUH !)
> >
> > ```````````````````
> > "I love California. I practically grew up in
> > Phoenix." --Dan Quayle
> > ``````````
> >
> > "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much
> > clean air do we need?"--Lee Iacocca
> > ```````````
> > "The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A
> > genius is a guy like
> > Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football
> > quarterback &sports analyst.
> > ````````````````````````````````````````````
> > "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply
> > exclude certain types of people."
> > --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
> > `````````````````````````````````
> > "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
> > --Bill Clinton, President
> > ``````````````````
> > "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or
> > may not occur."
> > --Al Gore, VP (damn he's smart)
> > ````````````````
> > "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come
> > from overseas."
> > --Keppel Enderbery
> > ``````````````````````
> > "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March
> > 1992 because we received notice that you passed
> > away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there
> > is a change in your circumstances."
> >
> > --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South
> > Carolina
> > ````````````````````````````````````````````
> > "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this
> > jack in at night as they go to bed and it will
> > monitor their heart throughout the night. And the
> > next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a
> > record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
> >
> > ````````````````````````
> >
> > ....Feeling smarter yet?
> > Send it on to your other brilliant friends, like I
> > am doing!!
> >
> >
>
>
>
>
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"From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it."
Matthew 11:12
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