> > > *The Man Rules > **At** last a guy has taken the time to write this all down* > > * Finally* *,** the guys' side of the story. > (* I* must admit, it's pretty good.) > We always hear* *"* *the rules** " > **>From the female side.** * > > * ** Now here are the rules from the male side.** ** * > * > **These are our rules! > Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " > ON PURPOSE!** * > > *1. Men are NOT mind readers. > > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. > You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. > We need it up, you need it down. > You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. > > 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon > or the changing of the tides. > Let it be. > > 1. Crying is blackmail. > > 1. Ask for what you want. > Let us be clear on this one: > Subtle hints do not work! > Strong hints do not work! > Obvious hints do not work! > Just say it! > > 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. > > 1. Come to us with a problem** **only** if you want help solving it. > That's what we do. > Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. > > > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. > In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. > > > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. > Don't ask us. > > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways > makes you sad or angry, we meant the ** ** other one** ** > > 1. You can either ask us to do something > Or tell us how you want it done. > Not both. > If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. > > 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during > commercials.. > > 1. Christopher Columbus did** **NOT** need directions and neither do we. > > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. > Peach, for example, is a fruit, not **A** color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. > We have **no** idea what mauve is. > > 1. If it itches, it **will** be scratched. > We do that. > > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like > nothing's wrong.. > We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. > > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you > don't want to hear. > > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... * > *Really** .** > > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to > discuss such topics as baseball > or** **golf. > > 1. You have enough clothes. > > 1. You have too many shoes. > > 1. I am in shape.** ** Round** **IS a shape! > > 1. Thank you for reading this. > Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; > ** > > **But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. > > Pass this to as many men as you can - > to give them a laugh. > > Pass this to as many women as you can -** * > * to give them a bigger laugh *** > > >
