By xexmltex, I assume you mean David Carlisle's xmltex format built over XeTeX? I have never used it, but I don't think you need it: if I simply run xelatex on the file containing
\def\xmlfile{manual.xml}
\input xmltex.tex
as per the instructions in the documentation, I get a file typeset by
XeLaTeX. Are you looking for something different?
Arthur
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