Country Music Terms:

Diminished fifth - An empty bottle of Jack Daniels.
Perfect Fifth - A full bottle of Jack Daniels.
Relative Major - An uncle in the Marine Corps.
Relative Minor - A girlfriend.
Big Band - When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players.
Repeat - What you do until they expel you.
Treble - Women ain't nothing but.
Bass - The things you run around in softball.
Portamento - A foreign country you've always wanted to visit.
Conductor - The man who punches your ticket to Birmingham.
Tempo - Good choice for a used car.
A440 - The highway that runs around Nashville.
Transpositions - Men who wear dresses.
Cut Time - parole.
Order of Sharps - What a wimp gets at the bar.
Passing tone - Frequently heard near the baked beans at family bar-
Middle C - The only fruit drink you can afford when food stamps are 
Cadenza - That ugly thing your wife always vacuums dog hair off of ! 
when company comes.
Whole note - What's due after failing to pay the mortgage for a year.
Clef - What you try never to fall off.
Bass Clef - Where you wind up if you do fall off.
Minor third - Your approximate age and grade at the completion of 
formal schooling
Melodic third - Loretta Lynn's singing dad.
12 tone scale - The thing the state police weigh your tractor trailer
truck with.
Quarter Tone - What most standard pick-ups can haul.
Sonata - What you get from a bad cold or hay fever.
Clarinet - Name used on your second daughter if you've already used
Betty Jo.
Cello - The proper way to answer the phone.
Bassoon - Typical response when asked what you hope to catch.
French Horn - Your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you 
come in at 4A.M.
Cymbal - What they use on deer crossing signs so you know what to 
sight in your pistol with
Bossa Nova - The car your foreman drives.
Time signature - What you need f! rom your boss when you forget to 
clock in.
First Inversion - Grand pa's battle group at Normandy.
Staccato - How you did all the ceilings in your mobile home.
Aeolian Mode - How you like Grandma's cherry pie.
Bach Chorale - The place behind the barn where you keep the horses.

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