A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest 
element yet known to science. 

The new element has been named "Bushcronium". Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 
assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, 
giving it an atomic mass of 311. These particles are held together by dark 
forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like 
particles called peons. 

The symbol for Bushcronium is "W." 

Bushcronium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact 
with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in 
a Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes. 

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that 
Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in 
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical  Morass." 

When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element that 
radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it 
has half as many peons but twice as many morons.


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