You say: "Maybe I am too harsh in my practice. I know I have no love for 
mysellf and am harsh on myself almost all the time.  I'm trying to work on 
loving myself, because I can't love anyone else until I have love for myself."  
In my personal opinion This statement you've made it makes you by itself the 
perfect  asset to approach the Buddha Teachings.  Not many people have this 
realization about themselves and yet the real root of our suffering is the lack 
of love towards oneselves.  There is also often a misunderstanding about this 
teaching of loving oneselves or as Bill would more or less say: "Put the mask 
of oxygene first in you and once you're safe  help others do it the same" This 
is far of being a selfish statement, on the contrary is a very 
compassionate statement  for as long as one has realiced the consecuences 
and impact whatever is in us has over oneselves,  all our surroundings and the 
whole universe.  When a person is
 unhappy makes every one around her/him also unhappy. When a person is happy it 
happens the same.  So here the love towards oneselves is based in the healthy 
and altruistic principle of "I release the suffering in me so I can realease 
the suffering all around me".  
Completely agree with you and yes, loving oneselves is the hardest, 
difficult thing to do.  What it makes difficult this task is that in order to 
love oneselves we have to work extremely hard on it.  We have to face what is 
in us and that not always is easy.  In fact we ideally need a Teacher in order 
of doing so as the ego gets on the way and will find millions ways of 
deceiving us....
Actions of compassion in all directions will help a lot.  I've found compassion 
actions be like the main vitamin supplement for keeping me truly alive.  
Welcome to the real dharma of the Buddha.

--- On Thu, 12/8/10, Ari <> wrote:

From: Ari <>
Subject: Re: [Zen] EGO
Date: Thursday, 12 August, 2010, 16:03



Poor thing.  Sorry to hear about such an horrific dream.  I wonder if it means 
that you are going under an intense change in your life. Not always the meaning 
of unpleasant dreams is negative and sometimes they mean well on the contrary 
as Bill was pointing out in his mail. Have you ever to face your own dream 
while dreaming?.   If you could do that whatever is there will be resolved 
during the dream.  I also agree with Anthony advice about be relax and very 
kind to yourself while practicing.  Slowly, slowly.  No rush. No expetations.  
We go nowhere as we are already arrived in the here and the now, the chopper is 
A hug
Thank you, Makya.  No changes in my life.  Same old boring stuff.  My husband 
also  has had nightmares, and after finding this out, I no longer give it much 
energy.  I may have been thinking of the tornado and how the neighbor family 
was "chopped up".  Maybe I am too harsh in my practice. I know I have no love 
for mysellf and am harsh on myself almost all the time.  I'm trying to work on 
loving myself, because I can't love anyone else until I have love for myself. 
Thank you for your kindly post and your hug :-)

--- On Tue, 10/8/10, Ari <aelindemann@> wrote:

From: Ari <aelindemann@>
Subject: [Zen] EGO
To: zen_fo...@yahoogrou
Date: Tuesday, 10 August, 2010, 20:45


Dear all, 
Recently I went to a spiritual retreat, and decided to intensify my meditation 
practice and other aspects of having a mindful life. 
I was then beset by one of the  worst nightmares I've ever had, where I was 
being chopped to bits by a hacksaw. The last line in the nightmare was "and 
it's not a dream this time" at which I woke up, to, indeed find that it was a 
There is nothing so drastic in my personal life. My personal life is pretty 
mundane with not many conflicts at the moment. 
I wonder if Ego sent me the dream, to keep me from intensifying my practice?  
There have been other times in the past where I would get nightmares right 
after I had determined to intensify my practice. 
ANY opinions, welcome. 
I'm going to go about my meditation, and not let the dream freak me out, but 
really, would not like to have another one! 

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